They Don't Come Out at Night

by Wil Wheaton

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You know the well has to be close, but your lantern only makes the fog harder to penetrate.

You know there’s nothing but open field around you for hundreds of meters, but the fog is so thick, you could be buried alive. Claustrophobic panic threatens each step.

You have to keep moving. You have to get to the well and fill your skins, because the house is dry and the night is long.

You have to keep moving, because if you stop . . . no. “No!” You tell yourself. “They don’t come out at night! No one has ever seen them come out at night!”

No one who is still alive, that is.

You count your steps, to stay calm and focussed.

240, 241, 242

It’s 250 paces to the well, 250 paces back to momma.

243, 244

There it is! The well! A squat, grey shape, against the fog.

It moves.

Toward you.

You scream, and turn toward safety.

You drop your skins, you drop your torch, and you run.

“No! They don’t come out at night!” You think, as you turn your ankle, and fall. Tears turn dust to mud on your cheeks.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Kermitgorf's Buddy Icon Kermitgorf

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    suspenseful. drop your skins ,not sure what refers to. I like the mystery that you don’t tell waht They are that don’t come out at night

  2. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    The pacing here is very good, keeps the reader literally on the edge of their seat.

  3. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars' Buddy Icon Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Water skins, Kermitgorf. We useta’ carry water in em’ back in the olden’ days, before yer’ dadblamed, newfangled sports bottles : )

    Very creepy, Wil. Effective use of the second-person perspective.

  4. They Don't Come Out at Night

    uselessness' Buddy Icon uselessness

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I like it a lot. Nothing like some good October creeps.

  5. They Don't Come Out at Night

    cainegreene's Buddy Icon cainegreene

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Nicely done. The pace held me all the way. The tears turn dust to mudd excellent way to portray the arid conditions.

  6. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Ighnot's Buddy Icon Ighnot

    Posted 6 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Like the rhythm here.

  7. They Don't Come Out at Night

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 6 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Very frightening with lots more suggested as possibilities and questions. But did they have to twist their ankle? Someone always twists an ankle.

  8. They Don't Come Out at Night

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 6 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Couldn’t help myself—sequel written!

  9. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Hunting Beauty's Buddy Icon Hunting Beauty

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    You did an absolutely marvelous job on this one. The suspense is killer. The pace of the story really keeps the reader on the edge of their seat. Keep it up, Wil!

  10. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    {Alexa screams}
    OK, why am I out at night?
    . {Alexa glances behind her, rather nervously.}
    Yeah, I’m scared. Good job.

  11. They Don't Come Out at Night

    One Time, One Chance's Buddy Icon One Time, One Chance

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    it’s okay, kermit, i didn’t kno either. but i won’t say anything about the whole “old” factor, due to a comment left on a previous ficlet =]
    anywhoways, verry nice story, luvv the suspense!

  12. They Don't Come Out at Night

    FlirtingWithaBrickWall's Buddy Icon FlirtingWithaBrickWall

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    skins, like animals skins? like a flask?

  13. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Hobo Beard Bob's Buddy Icon Hobo Beard Bob

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    It’s like something from the early issues of Weird Tales. Great Job.

  14. They Don't Come Out at Night

    That Girl's Buddy Icon That Girl

    Posted 6 months ago

    That’s Fabulous!
    I loved how it attracted me to keep reading even though I was getting nervous just reading it.
    Very intense and it felt very real, even though it’s not really a common situation for many of us.
    I just loved it!

  15. They Don't Come Out at Night

    FourSeven's Buddy Icon FourSeven

    Posted 6 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    this was aiiight.

    i like what youve done here. the writing could use some cleaning up but im diggin what you got. im going to go read thx’s sequel.

  16. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Jairo's Buddy Icon Jairo

    Posted 6 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    Why did you like to write you so much? Plz respond. (im only 12)

  17. They Don't Come Out at Night

    SupRspi's Buddy Icon SupRspi

    Posted 6 months ago

    Clicked this from my blog, and it motivated me to finally write my own first ficlet.

    Awesome story, fantastic atmosphere. I think some good spin-offs will come of this.

    I applaud you putting some effort and taking some chances with fiction!

  18. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Raenef's Buddy Icon Raenef

    Posted 6 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    The use of ‘flashlight’ and ‘skins’ in the same story seems anachronistic. Perhaps ‘lantern’ would be a better choice if you wanted to have you story set in the past, unless American’s have always referred to light-giving-equipment as ‘flashlights’. I’m not well-versed in American English.
    It’s nice to see you used the second-person narrative technique. Keep up the good work Wil : )

  19. They Don't Come Out at Night

    TheWindBlows' Buddy Icon TheWindBlows

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Nice. Your great writer. I love the suspense.

  20. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Melia's Buddy Icon Melia

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Agree with Raenef. ‘Flashlight’ and ‘torch’ threw me a bit as well, but other than that, I’m excited for you since you’ve said writing fiction scares you. Way to face the fear and jump into it! And thanks for pointing out this site. I always find the coolest stuff on the tubes thanks to you!

  21. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Wil Wheaton's Buddy Icon Wil Wheaton

    Posted 6 months ago

    That’s a great note, Raenef. Thank you!

  22. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Jonas' Buddy Icon Jonas

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    A very enjoyable ficlet. What makes it work, I think, is the fact that for a long time (considering) it relies solely on insinuation, and then suddenly – something is upon you! It captures that moment of realization, of understanding that the nightmare is actually real, while simultaneously remaining vague as to what the horror actually is.

    In other words, a scary story of the retro kind. No guts, no blood – but some actual horror instead. Good work.

  23. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Lone Writer's Buddy Icon Lone Writer

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I agree with pretty much everyone. Amazing Job.

  24. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Lone Writer's Buddy Icon Lone Writer

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Oh and you scared Alexa, which is pretty amazing all things considered.
    :)

  25. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Misheru O'ku >^..^<'s Buddy Icon Misheru O'ku >^..^<

    Posted 6 months ago

    great description

  26. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Capital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus)'s Buddy Icon Capital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus)

    Posted 5 months ago

    A great job, Wil. Very creepy. I’m not quite certain why, but the counting of the steps sends chills up my spine. Just wonderful.

    Thanks to this story, I’ve written 3 Ficlets of my own, and am planning outmy 4th. It’s all your fault, Wheaton! Thanks. :-D

  27. They Don't Come Out at Night

    YodaOnCrack's Buddy Icon YodaOnCrack

    Posted 5 months ago

    Loved the writing style in this – you offer a unique new style. Keep writing. Can’t wait to read your others. – Yoda * 5 Stars

  28. They Don't Come Out at Night

    I LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!'s Buddy Icon I LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    wow very nice will i really like it alot!

  29. They Don't Come Out at Night

    White Hat's Buddy Icon White Hat

    Posted 3 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    The anachronisms imply a post-apocalyptic world.
    It’s a brilliant turnaround from the classic “they only come out at night” stories.
    Probably the first second-person ficlet I’ve seen that hasn’t sucked. Bravo!

  30. They Don't Come Out at Night

    Will Hindmarch's Buddy Icon Will Hindmarch

    Posted 3 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Spare, lean, and sharp as hell. Closing out on that final detail, dust to mud, is great.

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