Robert's first stromboli

by cainegreene

“Hey Luigi! Dis a guy wanna tofu inna his a stromboli!”

“Madona! Mario you gotta be kidding me. Who is a dis guy?”

“Vene qui! Scusi senor canna you tella my associate here whatta you want?” said Mario and winking to Luigi. The italian look of “hey youa not gonna believe dis.”

Robert was getting nervous now. He never had this problem back home in Los Angeles. “Sir. I can not have dairy products or meat so I would like tofu, mushrooms, onions and peppers.”

“Che fa! What is a dis tofu? Ain’t dat oriental stuff?” said Mario with obivous disdain.

“Yes sir.” quivered Robert.

“Chinatown is a couple blocks east. Luigi show dis guy whatta a sromboli is.”

“Ok. Guarda. Now look you take a da dough, spread just a little a sauce eh. Add mozzarella, lay da pepperoni and sausage on top. For you I adda da mushroom now you roll dis baby uppa, eh? We putta dis in the oven for ten minootz. OK?”

“Yes sir” replied Robert. The aroma! He could taste it before he served it.

“Now, that’s a stromboli!”

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. Robert's first stromboli

    Amaster's Buddy Icon Amaster

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    It’s ineresting how you made the style of speaking look. I’ve never heard a real Italian speak, so I wouldn’t know if it was accurate.

  2. Robert's first stromboli

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 11 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    O it’s accurate every pizza shop ive ever been in goomba!

  3. Robert's first stromboli

    Mycroft's Buddy Icon Mycroft

    Posted 11 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    I absolutely love the idea that this is what they ended up doing after saving that daft Princess so many times. Considerably more money to be got in restaurants than by bashing your head against blocks all day.

  4. Robert's first stromboli

    Ighnot's Buddy Icon Ighnot

    Posted 11 months ago

    Great job on the accent. I really could hear it, and I spent a lot of time in NATO , so I worked with lots of Italians who spoke English in this exact way. It was great.

  5. Robert's first stromboli

    cainegreene's Buddy Icon cainegreene

    Posted 11 months ago

    Hey a I’m a glad you a all like a da the speecha. My a grandma she would be a proud.

    Grazie

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