Ficlets

Lightning In The Fog

You crawl, a sad act of desperation. If they come out at night, they can do anything, surely catch a mere boy struggling on hands and knees through the mud. But what else can you do.

Over your own labored hyperventilating you swear you can hear a slow, methodical plodding behind you. The movement is quiet, as though something still thought it was being sneaky. You curse the darkness, and you curse them, though you know you shouldn’t.

All the old tales flash through your mind, the old horrors revisited. There has been peace, an uneasy equilibrium for so many years. Some even consider the whole idea half myth now. Myth seems imminently upon you now, and the bad dreams of yesteryear seem a welcome respite from the reality of this night. They aren’t supposed to come out at night!

Ka-Boom Thunder erupts over your head, and a flash lights the fog in a brief orange glow. Ka-Boom Again the night is rocked, and your ears go numb. A heavy hand takes the back of your shirt, momma’s hand.

Comments

Average Reader Rating:

Lightning In The Fog
Kevin Lawver
Posted 8 months ago

Night atmosphere in this one!
Lightning In The Fog
THX 0477
Posted 8 months ago

Thanks KP!
Lightning In The Fog
SKermitgorf
Posted 8 months ago

great sequel, curse the darkness…. you’re one of the best on here ThX, very dark.
Lightning In The Fog
Alexa ♥
Posted 8 months ago

“Mommy!”
.
or is it?
Lightning In The Fog
Wil Wheaton
Posted 8 months ago

Wow, what a cool story! I love that you took my idea and ran with it, and I suspect the protagonist is, too . . . in my mind, she didn’t make it back to the house.
Lightning In The Fog
Ana Cristina
Posted 8 months ago

LOL at Alexa’s comment. I thought yours was a cool sequel, not necessarily what the reader was expecting. My favorite part? Definitely the Ka-Boom’s.
Lightning In The Fog
artistsrunwild
Posted 8 months ago

i think this is a great continuation…but there seems to be some issue with the gender of the protagonist
in will’s it was a girl – as he mentioned above
but here its a guy and in the prequel prequel its also a guy….so…..

is it a guy?!
Lightning In The Fog
THX 0477
Posted 8 months ago

Ah, the beauty of ficlets: gender is flexible. If you reread the original, he never states a gender. He’d imagined a female but left it open to your own imagination. I just went a different way, though maybe I should have left it unclear as well. The same thing happened on one of my earlier ficlets where I originally imagined a male, it became female, then became an androgenous vampire golem. Go figure.
Lightning In The Fog
Nathaniel Payne
Posted 8 months ago

I hate it when my characters suddenly become androgenous vampire golems. =D
Lightning In The Fog
Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars
Posted 8 months ago

it became female, then became an androgenous vampire golem

What story is that?
Lightning In The Fog
One Time, One Chance
Posted 8 months ago

i was going to say, my lord, tht’s strange. =]
ohmygaush, this is an awesome story! verry good descriptions, and all the shtuff said above =]
Lightning In The Fog
FourSeven
Posted 8 months ago

good stuff. is it wierd if i wish this guy didnt make it back? i mean, obviously for the sake of the character. as calvin’s dad always said, getting eaten by monsters builds character.
Lightning In The Fog
Pisces Girl
Posted 8 months ago

AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lightning In The Fog
Ms.Jennifer
Posted 8 months ago

I like it!!.. I also agree with Alexa… is it really Mommy… hmm…. Ponderous….. ;^)