{Gumshoe challenge}Ladd & O'Hanley Detective Agency: Ladd Gets a Call :Part 1

by SKermitgorf

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Parrish O’Hanley, dead a year, and still I hadn’t solved his murder. We had been searching for congresswoman Schweiz’s son.
It should have been me that night.
I took the call but he insisted that he meet the caller.

Shot in the back of the head in the alley near our favorite pub.
I’m Ladd, Shane Ladd of Ladd & O’Hanley Detective agency.

The phone rang.

“Ladd & O’Hanley Detective agency, what can I do ya for?,” I asked.
“I know who killed your partner,” a voice said breathlessly, but the stoolie had hung up before I could respond.

So this weasel claims he knows the triggerman who zotzed O’Hanely.

At midnight, at my favorite watering hole a gorilla of guy with an ugly mug walked in, sat beside me, grabbed my arm and said, “I hear yer lookin fer me?”

“Get your mitts offa me you ape,” I said as I punched him in the kisser. He made a snerffeled sound and hit the floor. “Somebody wanna call a copper,” I said.

“I see you’re in a jam,” laughed Sgt. Hammet when he spotted me.

“As always,” I said.

Prequels

Write a prequel

Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. {Gumshoe challenge}Ladd & O'Hanley Detective Agency: Ladd Gets a Call :Part 1

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 9 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Good dialogue, and I like that the case is personal to him.

  2. {Gumshoe challenge}Ladd & O'Hanley Detective Agency: Ladd Gets a Call :Part 1

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 9 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    A fun start to a detective tale, with a great character. I thought it was a bit jumpy though.

  3. {Gumshoe challenge}Ladd & O'Hanley Detective Agency: Ladd Gets a Call :Part 1

    Laine P. Grey's Buddy Icon Laine P. Grey

    Posted 9 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Haha, I rather liked it, but I felt that you were trying to incorporate all of the lingo in there. I am eager for a sequel, though.

  4. {Gumshoe challenge}Ladd & O'Hanley Detective Agency: Ladd Gets a Call :Part 1

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 9 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    The wording was spot-on, but I think you’ve got too much going on in such a small space. Try breaking it up so that the confrontation happens in the sequel and that should help the pacing.

  5. {Gumshoe challenge}Ladd & O'Hanley Detective Agency: Ladd Gets a Call :Part 1

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 9 months ago

    Thanks,..I think.. some backhanded compliments there lol, always a but in there somewhere, I really liked it but..

  6. {Gumshoe challenge}Ladd & O'Hanley Detective Agency: Ladd Gets a Call :Part 1

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 9 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    No, no, I truly liked it. :) Sorry if it came out wrong. I think I am hardwired to give feedback on writing in this way since I’m an English teacher. I’m going to go read your sequel now—can’t wait to see what happens next!

  7. {Gumshoe challenge}Ladd & O'Hanley Detective Agency: Ladd Gets a Call :Part 1

    Punkin's Buddy Icon Punkin

    Posted 9 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    i like all the lingo it adds flavor to the story.

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