starshine drama

by gowziproductions

“I.. I can’t.” His hand slipped out of hers and carried to the stars. “Look at them!” He said, turning away and pointing a shaking finger at the sky. The girl still sat, perplexed and asked, “The stars?”
“Yes the stars! But how they shine!”
“The stars have always shone.” The poor girl looked confused and nearly hurt, the shimmer of a tear might spurt.
Said He: “If we sleep another night on pillows made of shame, will the morrow shine the same?”
“YES!” She cried, as she leapt beside and seized upon his arm. “I mean NO! What shame in this, our love, could be such twinkles that I’ve seen could see and falter in the new day come as moonlight gives to setting sun?”
From gaze to stars the man looked down and saw upon the face of light a wondrous sight that made him pause and take a breath of fresh.
“You,” He whispered, staring, eyes-connect, “Are always what you are to me, that very thing you mean to be, but cannot ever be complete, while I’m with another.”
“Thankyou,” She said, “Now I see the light.”

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 3.0 stars out of 5

  1. starshine drama

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 11 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    If we sleep another night on pillows made of shame, will the morrow shine the same?
    I really like that line.
    ~
    I think separating the paragraphs would help immensely.

  2. starshine drama

    artistsrunwild's Buddy Icon artistsrunwild

    Posted 11 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    did you use lyrics with this?!

    this is okay. It really doesn’t fit with the characters I’ve been creating though…did you read the whole series?
    They don’t really have that make history…they’ve only just met…
    so I won’t be continuing this ficlet, I’ll sequel mine, but thanks for liking mine enough to sequel it

  3. starshine drama

    artistsrunwild's Buddy Icon artistsrunwild

    Posted 11 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    sorry – I meant “much history”

  4. starshine drama

    gowziproductions' Buddy Icon gowziproductions

    Posted 11 months ago

    cheers. well, i read 3 of your previous. and no i made it all up – no lyrics. but i just felt like it was all so intense b4, i needed to get ryhming. i’ll b honest i’m not good with intimacy on paper. you are, that’s a hot trait.

  5. starshine drama

    gowziproductions' Buddy Icon gowziproductions

    Posted 11 months ago

    plus i just destroyed their little meet up hook up thing didn’t i, that wasn’t very nicee
    my bad
    nxt time i might try to work the hook up

  6. starshine drama

    artistsrunwild's Buddy Icon artistsrunwild

    Posted 11 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    its alright…but still this wasnt a bad job as a stand alone ficlet as it doesnt really connect as you noticed lol

    the poetry is really very nice though and the lines they say…i think you should try again with your own story/stand alone with this rhyming poetry structure…i like it

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