Ficlets

The Logic of Being Dumped

“I’m breaking up with you, Robert,” she said, thunking a box on his desk. “Here’s all of your crap. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

“But that’s preposterous!” Robert replied with a chuckle. “You can’t break up with me.”

“Oh, I can. And I am,” she told him. “Seeing you makes bile rise in my throat.”

He frowned for a moment, “Let me explain to you why this is not advantageous.”

“Oh dear God…”

“God has nothing to do with this,” he said with a dismissive wave. “However, it has everything to do with Game Theory. For this instance let us assume that you are a rational being wanting to maximize your evolutionary fitness. As a woman this means finding a mate capable of supporting a number of offspring to adulthood. In order to create a balanced societal equilibrium, I, as a virile well-off man have an evolutionary right to a young attractive woman capable of producing said offspring.”

“Is that right?”

“Yes! Logically, we’re meant to be,” he concluded right before her fist connected with his nose.

Comments

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The Logic of Being Dumped
THX 0477
Posted 8 months ago

Awesome! It’s Mr. Intellectualization…getting punched his fool face. An excellent response to the challenge. I especially like the use of Game Theory, one of my favorite chapters in Social Psych.
The Logic of Being Dumped
Ana Cristina
Posted 8 months ago

Ooh, what a great story! I love the ending especially—he totally deserves the broken nose.
The Logic of Being Dumped
Howie Amourscow
Posted 8 months ago

And so: we observe the female partner demonstrating her strength, health and fitness with an aggressive display towards the male partner. At this point, the male may back down, or he may continue to entice the female with further displays of his own fitness. Should the male successfully entice the female, the pair may mate and produce a pup in approximately 38 weeks. Good luck, Mr. Human!
The Logic of Being Dumped
SKermitgorf
Posted 8 months ago

Robert is so full of himself and deserved the punch in the nose. Great job on the challenge.
The Logic of Being Dumped
The Ghost in the Machine
Posted 8 months ago

haha that 1 made me laugh. im prbly not gonna enter this 1 so u got my vote
The Logic of Being Dumped
someday_93
Posted 8 months ago

That’s great. I read about that mechanism, and you did a great job writing about it. Nice story!
The Logic of Being Dumped
SupRspi
Posted 8 months ago

Great job. I especially liked the rationalization (text/conversation) produced by Mr. Right.

One of the few in this challenge that made me chuckle.