“Rules: Okay, first off she should be a princess-”

“Well that screws it.”

”?”

“Well, you know me, mix with Royalty all the time, three of my best friends are Princesses.”

Ryan looked deflated.

“I know it’s hard Zoe, but the rules can be bent a bit.”

“Like they don’t have to be princesses?”

“Prom Queens would do,” he said hopefully. “Pageant Princess, homecoming queen…?”

“My friend was once voted best barmaid of the week-”

“Perfect, absolutely perfect. Blonde hair?”

“Red head to die for, she eats blondes for breakfast and spits them out for lunch.”

“Well, maybe a highlight or two,”

“She’d kill you.”

“Half a highlight?

“She’d kill you.”

“One hair?”

“You, know, if we got her drunk enough she might not notice…”

“Excellent, excellent.” Ryan bobbed up and down in his excitement, I hoped he wasn’t wetting his pants. “Now all we have to do is get her to marry me.”

“Whoa! What? Hold on a minute! Get married?”

“It’s the only kiss that will work…”