Consequence

by RndDolph

Typically, I would be in the woods, secluded, breathing its crisp air, listening to the muted crunch of snow giving way beneath my feet. Or, I could also be climbing the hill nearby. My thighs burning and me puffing as I struggle for air, trying to best my previous ascent time. Yes, a numbing distraction, that would be my typical response. But one can only go so far in detaching from conscious. The memory haunted me.
“It’s okay, it didn’t hurt!”, he pleaded in his little voice. “I won’t cry and I won’t tell mom! Just let me stay!” I despised him, the older boys always picked on him and got me into fights; fights I rarely won. To add, it was he who told on me about the neighbor’s broken window. That had cost me the BB gun I had begged father so long for.
It’s never easy to refuse your kin in that state, especially when he resisted his usual tears.
I did it anyway, I poked him again. “I won’t tell mom you poked me but let me stay!” Little did I know, the syringe I found and poked him with was diseased.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 3.0 stars out of 5

  1. Consequence

    someday_93's Buddy Icon someday_93

    Posted 10 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    A little confusing at the beginning, but very dramatic at the end. Great last line!

  2. Consequence

    Mikomi's Buddy Icon Mikomi

    Posted 10 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    Nice start.
    One thing I have to have a major problem with. Grammar! WARNING ! D: ‘It’s’ is NOT to be used with an apostrophe unless it is a contraction for IT IS .
    Thank you.

  3. Consequence

    White Hat's Buddy Icon White Hat

    Posted 7 months ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    Well done, but it needs some line breaks.

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