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A Family Surprise

by Jenson

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We join our ready adventurers in The Forest of Darkness as an undescribable creature pops out of a hole in the ground.

“What the…wha-,” Ragen couldn’t finish when the creature suddenly attacked. It sprayed acid at Jenson, Ragen, and a tree.

A pair nimbly dodge the attack, however, the tree could not move. It melted as another figure was revealed in the darkness.

“HIYAAAA!” The new figure destroyed the creature with a colossal magic aura.

“Show yourself!” demanded Ragen. The figure silently walked out of the darkness. “Kellina?” Jenson questioned.

“My brother!” She ran quickly to Jenson and they hugged. “Jenson you never told me you had a sister,” Ragen pointed out.

“Kellina, you may join our group. We are going to Azerath from a summons to battle in a war.” Jenson smiled widely.

“I shall join you,” agreed Kellina, the mage with unspeakable magic attacks.

Kellina, Jenson’s sister, joined the group as they travel to Azerath for a battle.

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Average Reader Rating:

A Family Surprise
butterflygirl6106
Posted 11 months ago

Great start to an adventure love the magic of the mystical allure of the players in the story.
A Family Surprise
THX 0477
Posted 11 months ago

Nice creativity, though it felt a bit stiff and bare, perhaps lacking in either description or something. Wish I could be of more help.
A Family Surprise
judee4u2
Posted 11 months ago

So glad to read another story from you. Guess I’m a bit prejudiced but I love it! Keep writing!
A Family Surprise
Jenunique
Posted 11 months ago

I like it, too. I tried to talk him into more decribing words, more than just actions. He said that would messup the “flow.” Call me predjudiced and pushy. ;)
A Family Surprise
Jenson
Posted 11 months ago

Read the one the beginning on my mother’s written ficlets (stories) then you shall know why I wrote this.
A Family Surprise
Jenson
Posted 11 months ago

Oh I forgot her ficlet person is Jenunique.
A Family Surprise
One Time, One Chance
Posted 11 months ago

it seemed to jump around a bit, but i liked the overall perspective [if tht’s the word to use]
=D
A Family Surprise
Jenson
Posted 11 months ago

starts to cry I’m only 11continues to cry
A Family Surprise
.:band baby:.
Posted 10 months ago

Don’t cry. That was very good for only being 11. My brother ((who’s also 11)) couldn’t write like this if he wanted to. least not to my knowledge.. anyways this was a good begining, keep writing.
A Family Surprise
Jenson
Posted 10 months ago

Thanks band baby 4 life.
A Family Surprise
Amaster
Posted 10 months ago

I think we have another Stovohobo on our hands. (Yes, that is very high praise.)
A Family Surprise
Jenson
Posted 10 months ago

Huh? Whats a Stovohobo Amaster?
A Family Surprise
someday_93
Posted 10 months ago

Stovohobo is another ficleteer, Jenson…a rather amazing one at that. So that’s quite the compliment.
~
And this is really good for being 11! Great job!
A Family Surprise
Jenson
Posted 7 months ago

I like squiggles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~_~~~~
A Family Surprise
SKermitgorf
Posted 7 months ago

awesome adventure, love the naration and action.
very stovohobo esque.. high compliment indeed.