Whats that Saying about the Birds?

by The Ghost in the Machine

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5

  1. Whats that Saying about the Birds?

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 8 months ago

    2.0 out of 5 stars

    why do we need to know about the heat waves off the tarmac? I didn’t see how that detail is pertinent, it didn’t seem to affect anything (besides setting). How did the staff not notice a gun was fired in the store? Was it a silencer - that piece of info is needed. This story could be better but it wasn’t bad - I’d say it’s a good start and once you edit, if you choose to, it could be great.

  2. Whats that Saying about the Birds?

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 8 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow, strong words from Tad for ya’, Viceroy. I thought the heat was a nice connection of the real world to hell, but that’s just me. Hope y’all don’t mind if I join the fun.

    LoA

  3. Whats that Saying about the Birds?

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 8 months ago

    good story, but the spacing made it look like one runon sentence. Space between periods makes it easier to read. I liked the story, even though it bounced back and forth past/present tense wise.

  4. Whats that Saying about the Birds?

    Fyora Cartagan's Buddy Icon Fyora Cartagan

    Posted 7 months ago

    Agreed on the space.
    I would’ve liked more of what’s going on inside his brain though, personally.

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