Ficlets

Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...

Susan placed the yellow pad of Post-it notes on the desk. She pulled three sheets off the top and placed the tip of her Bic pen on the paper. “This is foolish,” she thought, “I can’t rehearse it – it has to sound natural.”

Hands trembling, she tossed the Post-It notes aside and dialed Jeff’s number. It rang four times before he answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jeff!”

“Susan? “

“Yes, how are you?”

“Don’t call back,” Jeff said, hanging up the phone.

Sobbing, she dropped to the wooden floor of her room. Tear soaked makeup dripped down her cheeks like dirty raindrops as she rose to her feet and hit redial.

“What do you want from me, Susan?” Jeff asked.

“I love you, Jeff! Don’t do this!”

“Susan, please stop.”

“Stop what, Jeff?! I love you – you bastard!” she screamed into the phone before smashing it against the wall.

She stepped into the kitchen, grabbed her car keys, and slammed the front door as hard as she could. “If Jeff won’t have me, then I want to die,” she said as she put her car in reverse.

Comments

Average Reader Rating:

Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
SKermitgorf
Posted 8 months ago

Dang, she’s got it bad for jeff, ahh unrequitted love, been there done that, better results tho than susan.
Once again a great read from you. 10stars
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
Jenunique
Posted 8 months ago

Good job.
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
YodaOnCrack
Posted 8 months ago

Thanks – had to submit something in honor of Sain’t Chuck’s ficlet challenge. Not sure it’s my best, but I gave it a fair try! : )
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
Saint Chuck
Posted 8 months ago

Very real…almost too real for me. *shudder. None the less, great entry. As usual.
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
Luisa Rose
Posted 8 months ago

Nice work! It moves a little too quickly, but then again, it is a ficlet! :) Besides, I know that my style is slower-paced and more descriptive than most, while you clearly prefer a plain, realistic perspective. I like it a lot! Four out of five stars.
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
Luisa Rose
Posted 8 months ago

By the way, I hope I didn’t come off as rude in that… rereading that, I realized that the “plain, realistic” bit could be quite insulting! Sorry. I just meant that it’s more like a real thought instead of a flowery, intricate passage. I tend towards the latter… :D But I did like it!
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
YodaOnCrack
Posted 8 months ago

No problem, Luisa – I wasn’t offended.
This site offers an opportunity to playfully experiment with your writing style, gaining feedback regarding what works / doesn’t. I appreciate your comments. When I first joined ficlets, it was Howie Amourscow whose writing I “took a shine” to… I’d recommend checking out his repertoire / library of silver-tongued belles-lettres._ I see that you just joined – I recommend you read as much as you write. Thanks for reading mine! Thanks, Yoda
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
MrJ
Posted 8 months ago

so sad need some happy stories
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
.:band baby:.
Posted 8 months ago

very nice, yet sad. ‘secially because it happens all the time… 5*’s
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
Storykeeper of Fae
Posted 8 months ago

HAHAHHAHA ! This should not be funny, but I love how very pathetic this character is. I’m a pretty sympathetic person…within reason. She’s hilarious. Did you write this without laughing?

I’m sorry. That sounds rude to the poor, lovesick girl. Ode to Drama Queen, how you make me chortle!
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
flute faerie
Posted 8 months ago

Awesome job. Poor Susan …tear
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
YodaOnCrack
Posted 8 months ago

Thanks for all the comments. I liked your comment so much, Kermitgorf, that I made it the title of the sequel…
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
Tarmaie
Posted 8 months ago

Holy crack! One minute it’s calm, writing a post-it note. Two seconds later she’s this psycho crazy ex-girlfriend speeding off to wreak psycho crzy havoc. One of those things were all you can do is stare, shocked, wondering when did it get this intense…. and laugh. So I did.
Read the sequels as well. Me likey.
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
○○♥Promises Broken & Backs Turned♥○○
Posted 8 months ago

true love, how sweet!
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
KasumiRose
Posted 8 months ago

Impressively realistic. I started having flashbacks to my horrible angst ridden break-up.
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
Lone Writer
Posted 8 months ago

Wow. That’s harsh. Stupid Jeff…
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
THX 0477
Posted 8 months ago

I bet you Jeff is married! And Susan, well, she sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. Fun piece.

LoA
Post-It Note Challenge: If Jeff Won't Have Me...
YodaOnCrack
Posted 8 months ago

Ah yes, the Borderline personality. Susan’s feelings of power mixed with insecurities would likely justify that diagnosis, though her MMPI is more consistent that of Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD).