What do Bram Stoker and Charles Darwin Have in Common?

by Stovohobo

“Back! Back, I say, you devilish demon!”

“Well, that’s a little demeaning. Not to mention redundant.”

“Begone, foul creature of the night!”

“Oh, jeez—look, it’s noon. What stupid Buffy episode did you watch to get that stereotype? Or wait…it was Stoker who did it, eh? He’s been ruining all the rest of my buddies’ lives.”

”...Er.”

“Yeah, ‘er’. What, you think vampire’s can’t talk? Oh, wait, nevermind. We do, of course, but all we can say is ‘I vant to zuck your bloood’? Is that it?”

“Well, it’s just that, you see…”

“No, I don’t see. It’s daytime. My eyes are only adapted to night.”

”...Really?”

“It’s called ‘sarcasm’.”

“Ah.”

“So…garlic and a crucifix, huh?”

“Well…yeah. Bram Stoker said they would work.”

“And there’s your problem! Stoker, Stoker, Stoker! I mean, a crucifix as a deterrent? I, myself, am a strong Christian. In fact, the only person I dislike more than Stoker is Darwin.”

”...And the garlic?”

”...And your point?”

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. What do Bram Stoker and Charles Darwin Have in Common?

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 9 months ago

    classic stovohobo at your best LOved it laughed out lous seriouly OUT LOUD .

  2. What do Bram Stoker and Charles Darwin Have in Common?

    Sailor Emo's Buddy Icon Sailor Emo

    Posted 9 months ago

    Me 2 X*D
    makin me laugh so hard me cry!

  3. What do Bram Stoker and Charles Darwin Have in Common?

    Fyora Cartagan's Buddy Icon Fyora Cartagan

    Posted 9 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I love the dialogue, but I wish it had more appearance details.

  4. What do Bram Stoker and Charles Darwin Have in Common?

    Mask By The Moon's Buddy Icon Mask By The Moon

    Posted 9 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    oh my gosh I lvoe this! OMG WE CAN RATE AGAIN !

  5. What do Bram Stoker and Charles Darwin Have in Common?

    .:band baby:.'s Buddy Icon .:band baby:.

    Posted 9 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    lol. nice, very nice. and funny

  6. What do Bram Stoker and Charles Darwin Have in Common?

    Batak Beatrix's Buddy Icon Batak Beatrix

    Posted 9 months ago

    Darwin=Love. : (

  7. What do Bram Stoker and Charles Darwin Have in Common?

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 9 months ago

    witty back and forth, well, the vamp was dominating all the witty—“your point?” at the end cracked me up.

  8. What do Bram Stoker and Charles Darwin Have in Common?

    Storykeeper of Fae's Buddy Icon Storykeeper of Fae

    Posted 9 months ago

    Funny. I love a good witty dialogue. Nice title, too.

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