That was a month ago. Now, those kind of shaking fits are common and come almost daily, varying in severity. I have a headache every day and my muscles are tired and sore, though they have had no exercise. My mouth is dry, but when i open my mouth to speak a dry, hacking cough comes instead and i resign myself to shivering under the four heavy blankets. I stare out the window at the bleak November sky and wonder when i will know what’s wrong with me. I wonder when my appetite will come back. I wonder if i will go completely blind in one eye. Legally, i’m already there, but i’ve still got some power left in it. I wonder why i’m the only one in my family to suffer this way. I wonder how long i will be suffering for.
The scariest thing one can ever know is not knowing. That is true more so when applied to health matters. I cry in the knowledge that even if there isn’t something clinically wrong with me, there is nothing i can do to end my own current suffering, and the only person who can help me – doesn’t care.