Ficlets

God Almighty I can’t believe I have to invite this weed-killer to my office.
“Good morning, Al. How are you?”

Man, he looks old.
“Good morning, Mr. President. Nice to see you.”

Ol’ Al has gained a few pounds. What a porker.
“You look great, former Mr. Vice President. Civilian life has been good to you.”

Good to me? You clown. Because you stole the election, I was forced to find a real job.
“Thanks Mr. President. I’m doing my best to eat right and exercise.”

“Congratulations on winning the Nobel. I know Tipper must be proud.”

Congratulations on being a dickhead.
“Yea. Tipper was happy. I was surprised by the award, but I’m happy to be a part of the global warming debate.”

Global warming? Doesn’t exist. You guys are just a bunch of alarmist pinko liberals.
“Yes, Al. I agree. Global warming is important to our future. Warmth is a wonderful thing. We Texans know all about warm stuff.”

How does this guy tie his shoes in the morning? What an idiot.
“How’s the family?”