The worries of a child

by Stoner

Rachel was awakened by the crying of her 4 year old. The clock’s normally soft blue glow was a blinding beacon that burned “2:47 am” into her retinas. She stumbled through the darkness of the bedroom, nearly tripping over the pile of blue jeans that was awaiting its turn in the Dirty Clothes Jacuzzi, to be followed by a tumble in the Wet Clothes Sauna.

She opened Kattie’s door and clicked on the light. The cones and rods in her eyes nearly died of shock at the flood of photons streaming through her pupils. Kattie was sitting up in bed with tears streaming down her face. A look of shock and fear on her face.

Rachel deftly crossed to the bed, navigating a mine field of Barbie dolls, a plastic tea set, Barbie fashion accessories, pieces of Dora the Explorer Talking House Furniture set and some Mega Bloks. She scooped Kattie into her arms, brushing her hair to one side. Her head and back was damp with sweat. Her bed was wet with pee.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Barney took my em.”

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. The worries of a child

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 10 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    been there, done that! good descriptions!

  2. The worries of a child

    Metaphoric Spurs' Buddy Icon Metaphoric Spurs

    Posted 9 months ago

    Excellent descriptions. The second line really captured my attention and I would like to see something akin to that in the first line—more than just being awakened by the crying. Really make that first line grab your reader. (You said you desired criticism, so there it is!) The jacuzzi and sauna lines were funny. Excellent work. The last line really shows how parenting can be all about deciphering language!

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