Sweatin' Bullets

by Ben Paddon

From the moment she walked into my office I knew she was no good. It was probably the revolver she was carrying, although the fact that she’d just shot me twice in the leg was another clue.

“I’m not going to play any more of your games, Fenway,” she said as she glared down at me with one beady eye reflecting the streetlamp outside. I thought she was nuts. It wasn’t until later I found out she had a glass eye.

“Good,” I said. “I always cheat anyway.” Probably not the wisest thing to say at the time, but seeing as the worst she could do at this stage was fill me full o’ lead, I didn’t really feel I had much to lose. Apart from my life, I mean.

Then, I realized something: “Wait, did you call me ‘Fenway’?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m not Fenway.”

“You’re not?”

“No.”

“Is this 27A?”

“No, it’s 27B. 27A is in the building across the street.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry! How embarrassing! I’ll, uh… I’ll just let myself out.”

Some people would’ve said something clever then. Me? I just passed out from the pain, like a real man.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Sweatin' Bullets

    Russell Ruffino's Buddy Icon Russell Ruffino

    Posted 10 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    If Lazlo Woodbine wrote ficlets they’d probably come out something like this.

    Which is a good thing.

  2. Sweatin' Bullets

    White Hat's Buddy Icon White Hat

    Posted 10 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I wish I had thought of this first. Thbbt.

  3. Sweatin' Bullets

    Fyora Cartagan's Buddy Icon Fyora Cartagan

    Posted 10 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Haha, that’s great!
    I love the “I just passed out from the pain, like a real man.” line.
    Sir, you are great.

  4. Sweatin' Bullets

    Blusparrow's Buddy Icon Blusparrow

    Posted 10 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    lol! that was awesome!
    5 stars!

  5. Sweatin' Bullets

    Snarky's Buddy Icon Snarky

    Posted 10 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    .... glass eye. beautiful. Made me laugh out loud in the library.

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