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1. 5 Women I'd Like to Pork: It's a Coffee-Table Book (Historical Edition)

   Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars

   Posted 8 months ago

   I apologize in advance to anyone I’ve offended or sickened.

2. 5 Women I'd Like to Pork: It's a Coffee-Table Book (Historical Edition)

   MagicEightBall

   Posted 8 months ago

   You made me Google Leni Riefenstahl. And I agree, everyone wants to nail Cleopatra.

3. 5 Women I'd Like to Pork: It's a Coffee-Table Book (Historical Edition)

   Howie Amourscow

   Posted 8 months ago

   

   Not so sure about Joan Of Arc: she had to be a pretty burly woman.

4. 5 Women I'd Like to Pork: It's a Coffee-Table Book (Historical Edition)

   Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars

   Posted 8 months ago

   Howie, you’re not sure about Joan of Arc, but you totally feel me about Calamity Jane, right? Right? High-Five! What? No? Never mind.

5. 5 Women I'd Like to Pork: It's a Coffee-Table Book (Historical Edition)

   Fyora Cartagan

   Posted 8 months ago

   Haha!

   I love the “sleeping with a saint appeals to my blasphemous nature.”

   I think I’m like that about monks, I watched the Martin Luther movie and Mmmm…

   You’re great, sir.

6. 5 Women I'd Like to Pork: It's a Coffee-Table Book (Historical Edition)

   THX 0477

   Posted 8 months ago

   Oh, you have a blasphemous nature? Really? I never would have guessed. And look who’s a big schmarty pants, wanting to nail Leni Riefenstahl. I had to Google that one too, and whew, I salute your balls of steel on that one.
   LoA
   Oh, and freaking hilarious take on what has been a generally serious and often depressing series. I know I have a penchant for odd takes on challenges, but you took the cake, the knife, and the serving tray on this one.

7. 5 Women I'd Like to Pork: It's a Coffee-Table Book (Historical Edition)

   Tad Winslow

   Posted 7 months ago

   Atta booooy Tarzan. I didn’t watch Deadwood but buckskin trousers sounds pretty hot I’ll give you a free pass on that one.

8. 5 Women I'd Like to Pork: It's a Coffee-Table Book (Historical Edition)

   Alexa ♥

   Posted 7 months ago

   

   Just find it interesting that you started and ended the list with a saint.
   .
   Also, since you don’t specify the age of which any of these women would’ve been . . . I’m just saying, Leni Riefenstahl lived to be 101, and there might have been some time in there.

9. 5 Women I'd Like to Pork: It's a Coffee-Table Book (Historical Edition)

   The Ghost in the Machine

   Posted 7 months ago

   lol sweet dude. I was laughn my head off when I read this.”shaggin a saint appeals to my blasphemous nature”. Genius. 5 stars

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Inspired by

• 1. I’m afraid that everybody hates me, I’m annoying, and dumb, and…

  2. I wish that everything in my life could just be “no…

  A sequel to A New & Improved 5 things I've Never Told Anyone, with a few touch-ups

This story's tags

it's a throw momma from the train reference