Read Me

by Ben Paddon

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UNIVERSE v8.5.2 WIP #9 (12.21.2007)

New features:

Black Holes now lead to a dimension of pudding.
Support for Beer Goggles implemented – women will stay as attractive the following morning as you thought they were the night before.
Full Intelligence emulation. Dumb people are now better at pretending to be smart.
Redesigned GUI .
Speed of light increased to 1,080,000,00 km/h for ease of remembrance.

Bugs fixed:
“White light” glitch fixed. People in near-death experiences would often see the “White light” and believe they were ascending to some sort of “heaven.” This has been corrected.
Fixed glitch that would occasionally cause supernovas to crash the Universe, requiring a restart from the last saved back-up.
Minor updates.

Bugs to be fixed:
The increase of the speed of light has caused a few minor glitches that we are currently working on in time for the next official release.
Color display issues. If you are not seeing colors correctly, switch the Universe off for thirty seconds, then switch it on again.

Prequels

Write a prequel

Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. Read Me

    emma jo_234's Buddy Icon emma jo_234

    Posted 7 months ago

    Whoa. That’s really cool.

  2. Read Me

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 7 months ago

    The beer goggles fix was funny, though it may promote alcoholism in the updated universe. The intelligence emulation would stop some annoyances. I was wondering what the “white light” was replaced with???

    Although I like your title, “read me” as if it were a file on a computer, ha ha, I find I don’t often read those after installing new software…. maybe it’s just me. I wonder if the users of the universe program would read it?
    Interesting idea, so many possibilities for more updates…

  3. Read Me

    White Hat's Buddy Icon White Hat

    Posted 7 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Bwahahaha!

    I, of course, happen to have a copy of the source code. It’s written in LISP . To prove it, here’s the last few lines:

    “))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))”

    Amazing, right? ~_^

  4. Read Me

    RunningWithScissors' Buddy Icon RunningWithScissors

    Posted 7 months ago

    ahaha. superb.

  5. Read Me

    Fyora Cartagan's Buddy Icon Fyora Cartagan

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow.
    I admit it took me a bit to grasp the concept of this, but now that I’ve got it, it blows my mind.
    I’m not sure that makes sense, but it’s a good thing nonetheless.

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