The Fabrication (Part III)

by Metaphoric Spurs

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“We’ll skip the stairs,” Joe said. “Just point us to the elevator.”

“The Chateau does not have lifts,” replied the desk clerk.

“Lifts?”

“Elevators, monsieur.”

“Damn it. Where did that bellhop go?”

“I apologize, but Henri is easily insulted and will not return.”

She imagined the desk clerk cursing bourgeois American tourists the moment they turned away. Reaching into her backpack, she smiled and handed him some heavy coins, assuming they were the most valuable. “That’s no problem,” she said, “we can handle this.”

Their room at the top of the turret was accessible by one spiral staircase. She looked up. It wound in a circle higher and tighter until it collapsed upon itself, like a shutter lens. Its stone steps were worn smooth in the center of each rise, a shallow basin carved by the boundless footsteps of the strangers that had come before them. She tried to envision their faces and their purpose—as she struggled to reconcile hers.

Joe called down from above, “This isn’t so bad, huh?”

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.0 stars out of 5

  1. The Fabrication (Part III)

    Stovohobo's Buddy Icon Stovohobo

    Posted 8 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hmm….this could go a lot of places. I imagine right now you’re seeing a lot of your recent comments coming from me. Is that annoying? I hope not. It’s just that I’ve discovered a very talented ficleteer.

  2. The Fabrication (Part III)

    Metaphoric Spurs' Buddy Icon Metaphoric Spurs

    Posted 8 months ago

    Nope, the opposite of annoying. Thank you.

  3. The Fabrication (Part III)

    Melia's Buddy Icon Melia

    Posted 8 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I like how you use the desc of the chateau to make the reader feel sort of claustrophobic about both the place and the new marriage. Nicely done.

  4. The Fabrication (Part III)

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 8 months ago

    I agree with Melia, I need some air!

  5. The Fabrication (Part III)

    White Hat's Buddy Icon White Hat

    Posted 7 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    It’s not clear why she gave money to the clerk… as a means of apology?

    Still, well constructed, and a good continuation.

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