Ficlets

My first impression of the place was not so great.

“Where are the chairs?” I asked. “I need a place to sit down.”

“They don’t have chairs,” Cap told me. “They can’t use ‘em.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’ve never seen a Grumpler, have you?”

“Look, Cap, I’m new around here. I’ve never met one. So what?”

“Well, Grumplers don’t need chairs.” Cap smiled as if he was happy about something. “Grumplers don’t have legs. They flutter around like bugs. It’s really something to see.”

“But we need a place to sit down. I’m not standing up all day. Don’t they have chairs available for guests who have legs?”

“No. Grumplers feel it is an honor to be in their home. And as honored guests, you are supposed to never sit down. To them, sitting down is a sign of disrespect.”

“Cap, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” I was beginning to regret my decision to be a part of this mission. “What about the toilet? How do I use the privy?”

“See that hole in the floor over there?” Cap pointed.