Lucy

by Mistress Elsha Hawk

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She never smiles. She never speaks. She looks at you so distrusting. The bubbliest, sweetest, grandma-motherly-type person could squat down and say the warmest words to her and be met with a tiny cold stare.

She plays. She does what the other kids do, follows their lead, and listens to directions. She can make pictures, color, walk in line, join in a game, but its always silent, meek.

It’s like she is medicated for obedience. She is programmed to function like a child, but without the parameters for emotion.

Why would a little girl behave this way? Is there something odd at home? I’ve noticed her brother is a show-off, loud, a daredevil. Maybe he does all those things for her, so she doesn’t have to.

The oddest part is that her family has started calling her Lucy. That’s not her name. I haven’t the foggiest where that came from. She responds to it. But why? Names are integral. Names are a way of defining us. Has she been redefined? At the tender age of 3? Who is she?

I want to know her, maybe to help.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Lucy

    Cat the Dancing Mouse's Buddy Icon Cat the Dancing Mouse

    Posted 9 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow. Ever so powerful. Hail, hail, hail; you are a wonderful writer. Maybe, perhaps, you could add me? lol. 5 stars, and great job :)
    -Cat the Dancing Mouse

  2. Lucy

    Metaphoric Spurs' Buddy Icon Metaphoric Spurs

    Posted 9 months ago

    OK, I am here to comment and also to challenge you. I think the first line gives too much away. I want to finish reading this and then make that conclusion for myself. I like where you start in the second paragraph better. Let’s hear more about Lucy!

  3. Lucy

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 9 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I agree, with anonymom, you give a perfect visual description without the lead senetence telling us, you did better showing us that she is very disturbed. ecxellent.

  4. Lucy

    Apostrophe 's Buddy Icon Apostrophe

    Posted 9 months ago

    wonderfully written. You really get a sense for the plight of this young child. I hope there is going to be more about this lil girl.

  5. Lucy

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 9 months ago

    I edited the first line out, guys, about her being disturbed. I added a line at the end, but feel unsure if I like it. I kind of like ending it with Who is she?

  6. Lucy

    Saint Chuck's Buddy Icon Saint Chuck

    Posted 9 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    There really must be more to her than meets the eye…keep going!

  7. Lucy

    Metaphoric Spurs' Buddy Icon Metaphoric Spurs

    Posted 9 months ago

    I agree with the “who is she?” as being the better way to end…until the next installment!

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