Ficlets

By and large, when most people consider which career path they want to pursue, the option of “be chewed, swallowed and slowly digested by a balding giant with self-esteem issues” is one that goes largely unconsidered. It was, however, an option that had been made on Tim’s behalf by a balding giant with self-esteem issues and nothing to eat.

“Look,” said the giant, scratching his bald patch. “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t feel good about this at all. I imagine I’ll have a lengthy conversation with my Therapist about the Karmic implications of eating my house guests.”

“I appreciate your circumstances,” nodded Tim as he tried to wiggle his way out of the giant’s grip. “However I would be perhaps more appreciative if I were not about to become finger food. In fact I can confirm that if you put me down, I will be exceptionally appreciative, and I may even do a little dance in expression of that appreciation.”

“Really? What dance?”

“Uh… the Macarena?”

Everything suddenly went very dark for Tim.