Stories of a 100-Volt Klutz

by uselessness

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After falling from the top of a grapefruit tree and knocking myself clean unconscious, and riding my bike at top speed into the neighbor’s mailbox (not once, but twice), I came to the conclusion that I was the sort of boy who probably belonged indoors. For everyone’s safety.

And so I found myself rifling through Dad’s tool chest one hot afternoon. I was proud of the “skateboard” I had just built by nailing casters to some plywood, but I knew I could do better. I was an inventor, like the great Thomas Edison. As such, I needed real tools, serious materials. I needed electricity.

And then I saw it.

In the top drawer was a two-prong DC connector, freshly clipped from an old extension cord. Just the kind of thing I needed to make real machines. I grabbed that sucker, jammed a paper clip into it, and plugged it into the wall. I was a stupid kid.

My dreams of becoming the next Edison went up in smoke with my hair; the closest I came was Benjamin Franklin. But I was just glad I didn’t too thoroughly fry.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Stories of a 100-Volt Klutz

    yoITSme's Buddy Icon yoITSme

    Posted 8 months ago

    haha…smooth

  2. Stories of a 100-Volt Klutz

    SocccerISmyLIFE's Buddy Icon SocccerISmyLIFE

    Posted 8 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    haha. You poor, poor child.

  3. Stories of a 100-Volt Klutz

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 8 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I used to think your best pieces were your serious, dramatic ones, but I’m loving your recent humorous ficlets. This was just awesome.

  4. Stories of a 100-Volt Klutz

    Flute Loop<33's Buddy Icon Flute Loop<33

    Posted 8 months ago

    haha that is amazingly funny! great job and thanks for entering!

  5. Stories of a 100-Volt Klutz

    emma jo_234's Buddy Icon emma jo_234

    Posted 8 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Hahaha. This is the sort of humor I relate to. The stuff that totally cracks me up, to be more precise. And what’s more, I can totally relate. In Gym a month ago, I served the volleyball and it flew into the head of the teammate a couple feet in front of me.
    There’s more where that came from, too.

  6. Stories of a 100-Volt Klutz

    .:band baby:.'s Buddy Icon .:band baby:.

    Posted 8 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Oh my gosh! Ow!!

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