Do you remember? (place challenge)

by Dr. Lew

Going outside to get the mail. Spring is creeping up on us, I can smell it. Inhale deeply, take in the scent that the earth gives off. Close my eyes, I can hear the whispers of children laughing, the sun kissing my closed lids. Open my eyes. I see bare branches, dirty melting snow; my neighbor is walking her dog. Inhale… the taste of rasberries, picked fresh from the bushes in our backyard, our old clubhouse with the musty scent of wood ligering in the air. Inhale, exhale… my childhood fascination with ladybugs, daddy-long legs, and slugs. The delicate tickling that a critter lends to you when one walks on you. I remember those bugs as my friends, but I am now repelled by them. Inhale, exhale… the cool water rushing past me, but becoming one with me as i jump into our pool. The boats that are docked ring with their sails, lulling me to sleep at night. Inhale, exhale… the touch of my cat feels different, less fascinating. Inhale, exhale, open my eyes… I will never be able to go back. never.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Do you remember? (place challenge)

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 8 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Very effective use of the present tense and first person—really felt like I was there with the person, having what sounds like a meditative moment of melancholy. Mmm, mighty nice.
    LoA
    (apparently today the A stands for alliteration)

  2. Do you remember? (place challenge)

    Music-Hearted's Buddy Icon Music-Hearted

    Posted 8 months ago

    Sorry to sound like an english teach her, but awesome use of sensory detail! You really made this alive. Great job.
    LoA

  3. Do you remember? (place challenge)

    Music-Hearted's Buddy Icon Music-Hearted

    Posted 8 months ago

    *make that “here”. My bad.

    I still love it, by the way.

  4. Do you remember? (place challenge)

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 8 months ago

    What a moment of reflection and meditation, it made the place seem much bigger than the path to the mailbox. And it encompassed many seasons making it all the more a large mental moment.

Want to comment on this ficlet? You need to sign in!