Tastes Terrible, But It Gets The Job Done

by Howie Amourscow

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“You’re quiet,” Matti said, glancing at him without completely turning his head. “Stomach still bugging you?”

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about my stomach.” Gregor sucked a shot of sakila from a bulb with a blue cactus logo. It was sold as tequila-flavored rice wine, but it tasted like water downstream from a paper mill. Some kind of mite was in all the agave and you couldn’t get even a blanco for less than $35 an ounce. He held the alcohol on his tongue ‘til his eyes watered, then reluctantly swallowed.

Matti said, “Luggage.” He’d kept going on through Gregor’s reverie.

“Don’t have any,” Gregor said, mostly to air out his mouth because the old-shoe taste of station air was better than the sakila.

Matti glared at him sideways. “You weren’t listening. I said we could go as luggage.”

“No way. My luck, soon as I’m frozen they’ll ship me to Europa for my corneas and kidneys.”

“They don’t want your kidneys. You’re an alcoholic.”

“But I have lovely eyes. No cryo.”

Matti shook his head and sucked on a bulb.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Tastes Terrible, But It Gets The Job Done

    Howie Amourscow's Buddy Icon Howie Amourscow

    Posted 5 months ago

    Allow me to interject to debunk a common myth perpetrated by horror vids: cryogenic suspension is a perfectly safe way to travel, and it’s well documented that more than 87% of cryogenic travelers reach their destinations without any problems. That’s 5 in 6 space travelers, folks, almost perfectly happy with their accommodations! And the problem of the small percentage of frozen tourists diverted to off-world organ farms is well under control, despite the exaggerated claims you see in the media.

  2. Tastes Terrible, But It Gets The Job Done

    Denubis' Buddy Icon Denubis

    Posted 5 months ago

    ::laughs:: Nice. What should Hope find them? Some kind of ore hauler to the asteroids? Repair shuttle to one of the moons?

  3. Tastes Terrible, But It Gets The Job Done

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Great disclaimer, and I like the proposing of an as of yet un-thought-of option for the guys. Great last line by Gregor too, really keeping up the character established in this series with a surprising life of its own.
    LoA

  4. Tastes Terrible, But It Gets The Job Done

    Nouvelle Bardot's Buddy Icon Nouvelle Bardot

    Posted 5 months ago

    i just adore the way you described the alcohol. “it tasted like water downstream from a paper mill.” dont we all get a mouthful of that sometime or other? brill.
    LoA

  5. Tastes Terrible, But It Gets The Job Done

    White Hat's Buddy Icon White Hat

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    ... I never even thought of organ piracy on eyes before. 0.o

  6. Tastes Terrible, But It Gets The Job Done

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 3 months ago

    that comment was ill, Howie. Nice story, very funny and well written, engaging. You used dialogue to show us a few things—most memorably the size of the ego of the guy glikking down the bad wine came through loud and clear.

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