The Superhero Obituaries

by Hobo Beard Bob

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Philadelphia, PA – Davey Daniels, alter-ego of the 70’s vigilante, Captain Wreckless, died in his home on Thursday, a spokesman said. He was thought to be 55 years old.

“He died peacefully at 8:00 a.m.,” said Lady Laserfingers, his former girlfriend and teammate in the (now disbanded) League of Vigilantes. His death appeared to be due to “complications after a lifetime of drinking gasoline and motor oil.”

Captain Wreckless was renown for bringing down Philadelphia’s most notorious convenience store robbers, The Wawa Seven. He was often criticized for running over criminals with his Camaro while intoxicated. Captain Wreckless called it his “super power”.

Daniels is survived by his wife, Mrs. Curling Iron; his son, Captain Whiskey Dick; his brother, Mr. Donkey Punch; and his dog, Little Bit.

Memorial services will be held behind the family’s mobile home. Daniels requested that his ashes be sprinkled on a meatball hoagie from Wawa.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. The Superhero Obituaries

    uselessness' Buddy Icon uselessness

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This is absolutely terrific! I don’t know whether to laugh or cry—you created an original cast of “superheroes” and we don’t even get to see them in action! What a tease!
    LoA

  2. The Superhero Obituaries

    BARomero's Buddy Icon BARomero

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Haha! I guess not every superhero gets to have the grand exit of getting shot on the steps of the Supreme Court (Captain America) while awaiting a trial to test his principles, or fighting a cosmic being much stronger than her to save her cousin and her universe (Supergirl)

  3. The Superhero Obituaries

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 5 months ago

    Really funny stuff. Heck of super power too, running over people while drunk. At least he got villains…mostly, I assume. And really, Whiskey Dick? Delightfully irreverent to the whole super hero mystique.
    LoA

  4. The Superhero Obituaries

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 5 months ago

    Gp Philly SuperHeroes.. funny.. mm didn’t see that obit in the Inquirer.. I wonder why. I recall the WaWa Seven incident.. lol.
    Another classic series perhaps?? from one of the great comic minds of ficlets.
    LoA

  5. The Superhero Obituaries

    Stovohobo's Buddy Icon Stovohobo

    Posted 5 months ago

    Haha, the things you right are just so flat-out absurd it’s impossible not to like them. And “Wreckless?” Probably the most conflicted and confused word ever made.

  6. The Superhero Obituaries

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    It takes a talented (and disturbed) individual to make drunk driving this funny.

  7. The Superhero Obituaries

    Kevin Lawver's Buddy Icon Kevin Lawver

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Too funny. I love that the whole family got in on the “very minor superhero” game.

  8. The Superhero Obituaries

    Tad Winslow's Buddy Icon Tad Winslow

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wreckless’s “power” is… was hilarious. Very entertaining ficlet.

  9. The Superhero Obituaries

    Saint Chuck's Buddy Icon Saint Chuck

    Posted 5 months ago

    Brilliant.

  10. The Superhero Obituaries

    Shannon Lowder's Buddy Icon Shannon Lowder

    Posted 5 months ago

    Quite amusing!

  11. The Superhero Obituaries

    Freedom's Buddy Icon Freedom

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    oh this made me laugh! great job!

  12. The Superhero Obituaries

    Yeah Write!'s Buddy Icon Yeah Write!

    Posted 5 months ago

    haha! this was hilarious! haha!

    aaaah, fond memories of WaWa marts on family vacations.

  13. The Superhero Obituaries

    Alexa ♥'s Buddy Icon Alexa ♥

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    And congratulations on being the Featured Ficlet! Hopefully this brings more people to The Insane Knight: http://ficlets.com/stories/1100 and The Low-Carb Kid: http://ficlets.com/stories/1085.

  14. The Superhero Obituaries

    Jenunique's Buddy Icon Jenunique

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This is one of the funniest things I have read in a while. Love the fact that a “Superhero” has an obituary.

  15. The Superhero Obituaries

    User 8019's Buddy Icon User 8019

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    funny. I like how it uses ridiculous stuff to be as funny as it is.

  16. The Superhero Obituaries

    Music-Hearted's Buddy Icon Music-Hearted

    Posted 5 months ago

    VERY funny… I love the idea of a “superhero obituary”. It’s so original.
    LoA

  17. The Superhero Obituaries

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Laughing out loud at my desk at work. I think I’m going to get in trouble. Hilarious stuff.

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