A Girl Called Jack

by W.J. Kocik, Jr.

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This much I know: I was six years old the day I murdered my infant brother. Most of the rest is a haze of smeared memories; disconnected thoughts. Bits and pieces of a history I cannot stitch together into a whole. I don’t even know for sure which parts are real and which ones aren’t.

But I know that I murdered him. I know this because my mother spent the rest of her life making sure I never forgot it. Never made the mistake of thinking that maybe it was just a simple accident. And I know that I was six years old because on his headstone, on that part where it says when you were born and when you died, it says that he died in 1981.

Dad calls it the incident. That is, if he ever talks about it at all, which he almost never does. Mom, she chipped her elbow in the incident, when she fell down with David.

For a long time, I thought Mom’s chipped elbow was why she wouldn’t pick me up and hold me anymore.

My name is Jessica. But you can call me Jack. Everyone else does.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. A Girl Called Jack

    Pockets' Buddy Icon Pockets

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I love it. It leaves loads open for sequels, hints to a lot more, and tells you huge amounts about the character without explicitly telling you. Your usage of first person narrative was especially appealing. Keep up the good work!

  2. A Girl Called Jack

    W.J. Kocik, Jr.'s Buddy Icon W.J. Kocik, Jr.

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This is actually pretty close to the opening of a novel I was once upon a time working on (this is the heavily abbreviated first chapter). I have most of the rest of the story mapped out in my head, but I thought I’d see where others might take it, just out of curiosity. Hope folks have fun with it. :)

  3. A Girl Called Jack

    SJHundak/S.J.Willing's Buddy Icon SJHundak/S.J.Willing

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Intriguing work.

    S.J.

  4. A Girl Called Jack

    MissJonas1492's Buddy Icon MissJonas1492

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    It’s really good! I love how you say she doesn’t remember anything but her mom never lets her forget that she killed her brother. Nice work!

  5. A Girl Called Jack

    Kamalani's Buddy Icon Kamalani

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Simply amazing.

  6. A Girl Called Jack

    Rose's Buddy Icon Rose

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow! Great voice and strong character!

  7. A Girl Called Jack

    YodaOnCrack's Buddy Icon YodaOnCrack

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Well done. Great opening and grabs the readers interest from the start.

  8. A Girl Called Jack

    khepa's Buddy Icon khepa

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    nice! yes great opening and also nice ending.

  9. A Girl Called Jack

    Amaster's Buddy Icon Amaster

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    The only thing that I would want to know is how Jack killed her brother.

  10. A Girl Called Jack

    Saint Chuck's Buddy Icon Saint Chuck

    Posted about 1 year ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Really makes you want to read more…Nice work.

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