Key and the Lock

by yoITSme

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Shiny girl stared and broing girl with her slender hands on her hips.
“Fine I’ll go get her.” Boring girl said in a bored voice.
“No.” Said shiny girl. Boring girl stood up a little straighter.
“Okay…?”
“Go get Jamie.” Said shiny girl and the boring girl ran off.

“Here.” Dani said as she handed teh envelope to Jamie.
“Thank you.” Jamie opened the envelope. She smiled as she read the paper.
“What does it say?” Dani asked excitedly.
“It says that the key is in the lock and the lock is in the key.”
“What does that mean?” Dani implored.
“It means that the key and the lock are together and we gotta find them.”

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Comments

  1. Key and the Lock

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 9 months ago

    Hmm, lots going on. I liked the second half more than the first. I think it’s the repetition of the word ‘girl’. Sometimes it helps to find a way, especially if it’s just two people talking, to make it clear who is talking without repeating their names each time. Does that make sense?
    LoA

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