Ressurec-Ted

by Capital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus)

Vancouver, BC – Superhero Ressurec-Ted (aka Ted Wilson) has died. Again.

He was found floating, face down, in a bathtub filled with Mountain Dew early Saturday morning. Police do not suspect foul play, but believe it was yet another successful suicide attempt. Police will have more information when he recovers some time late Tuesday afternoon.

Ressurec-Ted came into the public eye in the early 1700’s as one of the world’s first superheroes. During the course of his career fighting crime, he has been shot, stabbed, hanged, burned at the stake, drawn and quartered, crucified, blown up, thrown into a volcano, run through a woodchipper, and, now, drowned. Some psychologists suggest his unnaturally long life is the root of his severe clinical depression, having been married to the same woman, Drew the Shrew, for the last 250 years.

Ted is survived by his wife, son Darren, and 157 grandchildren. Funeral services will be held Thursday. Ted will read the eulogy.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. Ressurec-Ted

    Shannon Lowder's Buddy Icon Shannon Lowder

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    That has to be the funniest thing I’ve read in a while!

  2. Ressurec-Ted

    Fyora Cartagan's Buddy Icon Fyora Cartagan

    Posted 5 months ago

    lol, his wife is immortal too?
    I liked that Ted is reading his own eulogy.

  3. Ressurec-Ted

    Gnarforama_X's Buddy Icon Gnarforama_X

    Posted 5 months ago

    Excellent addition to this series.
    “Police will have more information when he recovers some time late Tuesday afternoon”
    priceless line!

  4. Ressurec-Ted

    Capital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus)'s Buddy Icon Capital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus)

    Posted 5 months ago

    I’m glad you all enjoyed it. I had a great time writing it. :D

  5. Ressurec-Ted

    Yeah Write!'s Buddy Icon Yeah Write!

    Posted 5 months ago

    lmao! this is the best! the last line is a killer! haha! He’ll be reading his own eulogy, priceless! I guess the newspaper must publish a whole lot of obituaries for him! haha!

  6. Ressurec-Ted

    mmmarmalade's Buddy Icon mmmarmalade

    Posted 5 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    This is so clever and funny! Bravo! giggle

  7. Ressurec-Ted

    Music-Hearted's Buddy Icon Music-Hearted

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Brilliant, this is hilarious. Ressure-Ted… hahahahaha…
    LoA

  8. Ressurec-Ted

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 4 months ago

    Hysterical,one the best in the super heroobits series.. one the most gifted writers here “W”.
    every line was funny.. died again.. original and fresh.
    LoA

  9. Ressurec-Ted

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Great, stupendous, and super. I love the very human consequences for an inhuman ability.
    LoA

  10. Ressurec-Ted

    yoITSme's Buddy Icon yoITSme

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    hahahaha. i needed a laugh

  11. Ressurec-Ted

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 4 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    “Police will have more information when he recovers sometime late Tuesday afternoon.” Brilliant!

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