Where Unicornia Does It

by THX 0477

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“I think Unicornia wants to poop on your face.”

I sigh. It’s been a long day. “Sweetie,” I say, “that’s not very nice, and frankly, it’s kind of gross.”

“Aw dad, it’s not real poop. It’s only for pretends.”

“I know, but it’s still not nice to talk about pooping on someone’s face.”

“I’m not pooping. It’s Unicornia.”

“Yes, yes, I know that. But it’s still not nice.” There’s a pause, a break in the battle of wits I’m bound to keep losing until I go senile and quit trying.

“Dad, where do real animals poop?”

“They poop outside. Now go to sleep.”

She giggles, “In a potty outside?”

“No kiddo, they just poop…around.”

“Anywhere they want?”

“Yep.”

“Wherever they want?”

“Yes. Anywhere. Now go to sleep.”

“Oh. Anywhere. I get it.”

“Good.”

“Like your face.” And she laughs and laughs.

I just sigh. That’s parenthood.

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Comments

  1. Where Unicornia Does It

    Chet Biggenston's Buddy Icon Chet Biggenston

    Posted 5 months ago

    I dig where this Kid is comming from. I think we’d get along. HA!

  2. Where Unicornia Does It

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 5 months ago

    Excellent dialog! Realistic, very much like ones I have at home, although my kiddo isn’t quite that deep a thinker.

    But butt jokes abound!
    LoA

  3. Where Unicornia Does It

    flute faerie's Buddy Icon flute faerie

    Posted 5 months ago

    Lol! That’s a really cute, quaint story! I like it!

  4. Where Unicornia Does It

    .:band baby:.'s Buddy Icon .:band baby:.

    Posted 5 months ago

    The kid sounds really cute. Poor dad is fighting a losing battle there though.
    LoA

  5. Where Unicornia Does It

    Nouvelle Bardot's Buddy Icon Nouvelle Bardot

    Posted 5 months ago

    Adorable dialogue, very true to life. It reminds me of a conversation I used to have when I was a nanny for a little French boy who used to threaten to scratch out my eyes if he didnt get his ‘sucrerie’. Children are so fascinating…
    LoA

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