From 18 to 1

by Bag of Sand

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I can’t begin to tell you the anguish you’ve caused me, the nights I’ve spent obsessing over you.

When I saw you eating in that restaurant across town, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was.

But there you were, breathing and conversing, chowing down on a burger and sipping a Budweiser.

I don’t know if this is providence or something slightly darker, but here you are.

My basement is nothing extraordinary, but it’s going to become extremely special to you.

It must seem an odd reversal of fortune, you shackled in my basement.

But then, fate is unpredictable, rivaled only by the mysteries of love.

After you killed my daughter, I thought you had vanished completely.

Imagine my surprise, finding you here in my own backyard.

And now, there’s the matter of what happens next.

By now you’ve probably guessed I want revenge.

I know you don’t believe in God.

I’m not sending you to heaven.

Here’s what’s going to happen.

I’ll stab you here.

Then you’ll die.

And then?

Nothing.

Prequels

Write a prequel

Sequels

Write a sequel

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. From 18 to 1

    Bag of Sand's Buddy Icon Bag of Sand

    Posted 7 months ago

    Here’s a challenge – this story has 18 lines and 18 words in the first line. The second line has 17 lines, the third 16 and so on all the way to the last line of one word. The story also achieves “ficlet nirvana.” It was challenging, but fun.

  2. From 18 to 1

    BARomero's Buddy Icon BARomero

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Terrific way to tell a story! I love the way you count down the words in each line, and still manage to tell a cohesive narrative! Well done!

  3. From 18 to 1

    visionary vixen!'s Buddy Icon visionary vixen!

    Posted 7 months ago

    This is fantastic! i praise you on completing that challenge.. it would take me ages to be able to figure something like that out!!

  4. From 18 to 1

    Melia's Buddy Icon Melia

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    That’s quite a challenge there. Man… I’m impressed as hell at how you kept the narrative in an even stricter limitation than length. Amazing!

  5. From 18 to 1

    Melia's Buddy Icon Melia

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Bloody hell this is hard. My brain hurts.

  6. From 18 to 1

    Melia's Buddy Icon Melia

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Ok, sequelled. Damn hard one man. I need to go play Mario or something and give my brain a break.

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