Wallace

by Wil Wheaton

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. Wallace

    Wil Wheaton's Buddy Icon Wil Wheaton

    Posted 3 months ago

    I’m not entirely sure where this idea came from; it just emerged, fully formed, from my brain this afternoon.

    It may be that I’m not feeling well, and I’ve been reading Crooked Little Vein.

  2. Wallace

    Disturbed Youth's Buddy Icon Disturbed Youth

    Posted 3 months ago

    Let’s just say i would have done the same thing.

    LoA

  3. Wallace

    You Know You Love Mee!'s Buddy Icon You Know You Love Mee!

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    It’s a good idea, I think…
    It’ll make a good series if you continue it.

    :]]
    You Know You Love Mee!
    FIVE STARS

  4. Wallace

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 3 months ago

    descriptive of the woman.. such rage.. temper impatience.. and regret all in one story.excellent.

  5. Wallace

    Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars' Buddy Icon Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Warren Ellis does seem to bring out the best in all of us…

  6. Wallace

    Wil Wheaton's Buddy Icon Wil Wheaton

    Posted 3 months ago

    I wanted to experiment with 3rd person limited narrative, so I tried to write this from Wallace’s POV , filtering the experience and descriptions though his obviously disturbed psyche.

    I think he does feel bad after he hits her, but I don’t think it’s the first time this has happened, now will it be the last.

    Thanks for the feedback, guys. I’ve been on the DL for a month, and I’m glad I can work back up to speed by writing ficlets.

  7. Wallace

    Eckhouse's Buddy Icon Eckhouse

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    If it were me, it would have come from the “things I’ve always wanted to do but legally can’t” place.

  8. Wallace

    Melia's Buddy Icon Melia

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I liked how you used smell to describe her before Wallace actually saw what she looked like. This makes me want to know more. Why is his psyche disturbed? Who has he hit before? Is he bothered that he hit a woman or that he hit someone at all? If a ficlet makes me that curious, it’s teh awesome.

  9. Wallace

    angiek's Buddy Icon angiek

    Posted 3 months ago

    It really bursts through the starting gate, doesn’t it? I immediately want to know just what in the world is going on in Wallace’s head. The short temper and the fact that this all took place in a pharmacy line means his story should be interesting. I want to know what his motivation is. Awesome. Good to see you writing again!

    Cheers.

  10. Wallace

    andy's Buddy Icon andy

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    was it starbucks or peets?

  11. Wallace

    Mariva H. Aviram's Buddy Icon Mariva H. Aviram

    Posted 3 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Wil,

    First let me say that I’ve become a Twitter addict because of you (and Dave Winer). Your Tweets make my day. Seriously.

    Now that the obligatory fawning is out of the way, may I make two small suggestions?

    1. “[...] radiated off her and assaulted him” is awkward and wordy. I know what you’re getting at, but make this a bit punchier.

    2. “Fck you, @sshle” sounds more believable (and less outdated) than using the epithet “pal.”

    The story itself is quite dark! A bit Palahniukesque, perhaps?

  12. Wallace

    OrangeOreos' Buddy Icon OrangeOreos

    Posted 3 months ago

    Andy, it was Gloria Jean’s.

    Twisted story, but I like it

    Weird how he seemed to be having a good day and that one lady ruined it for him.

  13. Wallace

    Miss Kelly's Buddy Icon Miss Kelly

    Posted 3 months ago

    I was SO enjoying this until I got to the end. AHH ! Now what?

    That’s the best kind of story Wil. Great work!

  14. Wallace

    Wil Wheaton's Buddy Icon Wil Wheaton

    Posted 3 months ago

    Thanks for the note, Mariva. That phrase is a little clunky.

    I don’t know why that woman says, “pal,” but she does. Maybe because it’s even more condescending and snotty than “asshole,” like she has total contempt for him. Hey, maybe that’s why he punched her?

    I honestly don’t know the answers to these questions, but it sure is fun to think about them!

  15. Wallace

    YodaOnCrack's Buddy Icon YodaOnCrack

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Ha – powerful image of a meth addict gettin’ knocked around. Funny.

  16. Wallace

    Mariva H. Aviram's Buddy Icon Mariva H. Aviram

    Posted 3 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Wil: You have a point about “pal.” Perhaps as you continue the story further, that part of the dialog will seem naturally in line with her character. I’m willing to suspend my disbelief! Let’s see some more. (Maybe when your sinuses are healed.)

  17. Wallace

    Mariva H. Aviram's Buddy Icon Mariva H. Aviram

    Posted 3 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Sheesh, I meant to upgrade my rating to four stars, but Ficlets is exasperatingly slow to respond. It’s making Twitter look downright reliable.

  18. Wallace

    Trying to Blend's Buddy Icon Trying to Blend

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Great description of the woman…I know her!

  19. Wallace

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Gritty and harsh, like the characters involved. Way cooler than my lame addition to the ‘awesome’ cavalcade of someone decking a complete stranger.
    LoA

  20. Wallace

    Lexeth.'s Buddy Icon Lexeth.

    Posted 3 months ago

    i vote that you continue it, wil!

  21. Wallace

    Gorgeous Nerd's Buddy Icon Gorgeous Nerd

    Posted 3 months ago

    The ending surprised me. I thought the woman was going to do something to Wallace because he seemed like a mild guy. So much for that, huh?

    I’d love to read more.

  22. Wallace

    Capital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus)'s Buddy Icon Capital "W" Writer (LoA's Geekus Awesomeus)

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I like. Yet again, your talent for writing comes through, Wil.
    I do have to admit, though, that I was killing myself laughing after reading it. Why? Because, thanks to having an 8-y-o son, I kept picturing Wallace from Wallace & Gromit. But, aside from not being able to get that image out of my head, and great read!

  23. Wallace

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    A great, bold, powerful story. The character is intriguing. I want to know more.

  24. Wallace

    SupRspi's Buddy Icon SupRspi

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This one is the perfect sort of ficlet in my mind – just enough detail to make me want more, and left wide open for someone else to come along and continue it.

    Also, the dialogue works, and the story is interesting, and in a scary way, believable.

  25. Wallace

    Never Explain's Buddy Icon Never Explain

    Posted 3 months ago

    Really good. I like it. You depicted the kind of thing that would happen to anyone at a dumpy Rite-Aid

  26. Wallace

    LovingYourHeartbreak♥'s Buddy Icon LovingYourHeartbreak♥

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    ehh its crazy, yet its awesomee. what happens now?

  27. Wallace

    I LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!'s Buddy Icon I LOVE FRANK IERO AND WILLIAM BECKETT!!!

    Posted 3 months ago

    LOVING YOUR HEARTBREAK IS RIGHT , AWESOMENESS.

  28. Wallace

    K Tempest Bradford's Buddy Icon K Tempest Bradford

    Posted 3 months ago

    I like this line: He smelled her before he heard her: cigarettes and booze, stale and sour, radiated off her and assaulted him.

    very evocative.

    But, violence!

  29. Wallace

    Maddawg's Buddy Icon Maddawg

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Kind of reminds me of that scene in the movie “Falling Down” where Michael Douglas goes postal on some gang bangers. Quite the emotional scene, Mr. Wheaton. Nicely done!

  30. Wallace

    J.B. Williams' Buddy Icon J.B. Williams

    Posted 3 months ago

    I must admit, it wasn’t the wisest move, but it was well deserved in context.

  31. Wallace

    invisibility_disability's Buddy Icon invisibility_disability

    Posted 3 months ago

    awesome. :)
    LoA

  32. Wallace

    Shadman's Buddy Icon Shadman

    Posted 3 months ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    This reminds me of geek stink breath. Not bad.

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