I could not believe my eyes. Was that our cat Whiskers? walking on two legs?

“Whisker”, I said astonishedly, “Is that you?”

To my amazement, whiskers replied, ” No it’s Santa Claus. Of course it’s me you fool.”

“Whoa… you walk on two feet and you talk.. it’s incredicle,” I said.

“No,” Whiskers answered, “What’s incredible is that I’ve lived here three years with you morons and you just now notice I walk upright and can speak.”

“Well you hide out in the basement when we come home, you’re so aloof and unfriendly,” I said.

“Well, I’ve never really liked any of you, you’re so.. boring,” Whiskers replied.

I walked over, Whiskers thought that I was going to pet him, and he backed away, but I grabbed a hold of him and flung him out the back door and locked it.

I thought afterwards, that owning a cat that could walk on it’s hind legs and have a conversation, that I could make a lot of money off of him, but when I went back out to the yard, Whiskers was gone. Gone with him my prospects of getting rich.