Jesus: We did have a talk before I came this time though. I asked to be able to do things my way.

Connie Chung: You mean that you don’t preach the same message you did last time?

Jesus: Naw. This time I get to do miracles at my leisure. For instance, most wealthy people spend all their time doing just what I asked them not to do, then showing up on Sundays acting more pious then the poor who tried to do right all week, failed, and are too embarassed to be there.

Connie Chung: So, what is your message this time?

Jesus: I figured I would save time and make all the rich people poor.

poof – Connie Chung is dressed in sack-cloth and her hair is in disarray. Quite a few teeth are on the verge of falling out.

Jesus: Wow… poverty doesn’t look good on you.

Connie Chung: A@!@@#!$@!!

Jesus: hmm.. well.. That doesn’t seem to be working. Okay. I will have to try something else.

poof – Connie Chung is back to immaculate dress and coifed hair.