Ficlets

The Princess Bride's Assault Plan B

“Don’t you understand?” Vizzini said almost loud enough for the castle guards to hear. “My plan was entirely dependent upon one of us being a female! Unless Fezzik’s been hiding a wedding gown in his size, which is highly improbable, you’re just going to have to shave your mustache.”

“Would this do?” Fezzik produced an enormous white dress and pulled it down over his head.

Inigo blinked. Vizzini was agape. Fezzik struggled to fasten the veil.

“Where in Florin did you get that?” asked Vizzini.

“At Miracle Max’s. It fit so nice, he said I could keep it.”

“If I were an imbecile, I would ask you about that. But I am clearly not an imbecile, and we have a castle to raid. So in the interest of time, and in accordance with my uncanny powers of judgment, let’s get down there, shall we?”

“Well put,” said Inigo.

“Why thank you.”

“Let’s go save Buttercup!”

“Who?”

“The princess.”

“She’s in there?”

“She is. And she’s going to be married in twenty minutes.”

“Would you mind telling me why either of you care?”

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The Princess Bride's Assault Plan B
Stovohobo
Posted about 1 month ago

“If at least we had a Holocaust cloak, that would be something.”
“You mean like this?”
~
Great. Just great.
The Princess Bride's Assault Plan B
thebetweenspace
Posted about 1 month ago

Perhaps the best one yet. I laughed all the way through it. Sheer brilliance!
The Princess Bride's Assault Plan B
Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars
Posted about 1 month ago

I wish I knew The Princess Bride well enough to join in, but I haven’t seen that movie in years. Of course, I’m going to remember your series as the real ending from now on.
The Princess Bride's Assault Plan B
Ana Cristina
Posted about 1 month ago

“If I were an imbecile, I would ask you about that. But I am clearly not an imbecile, and we have a castle to raid. So in the interest of time, and in accordance with my uncanny powers of judgment, let’s get down there, shall we?”

I LOVED that part. Love is too weak a word, in fact. It is so Vizzini, that it’s, well, uncanny.
You’re doing a great job writing an alternate ending to a beloved film, which is no small feat. (But I’m still waiting for Westley to pop back into the picture!)
LoA
The Princess Bride's Assault Plan B
OrangeOreos
Posted about 1 month ago

Haha!

Amazing alternate ending.

Although I haven’t seen the movie, I have read the book!

Loving every sentence.

LoA
The Princess Bride's Assault Plan B
Kermitgorf
Posted about 1 month ago

You should be a script writer, your mastery of dialogue is astounding.
LoA