Ficlets

Classical Gas

The doctor came around the desk. He was a nondescript little man, with the kind of face that makes it hard to guess age. Late forties, early fifties maybe. Mousy brown hair, clean-shaven, wire-rimmed glasses, hazel eyes. He noticed where I was looking. “Ah, yes. Never too early to think about marketing, you know.”

“Marketing…yes,” I said.

“And hello! Thanks for stopping in. You would be the host for our Miss Cindy Lou Staples!” He leaned forward, putting his head close to my stomach, and raised his voice. “HELLO in there, Cindy! Is everything all right with you?” To my embarrassment, I suddenly passed gas—loud and long. He chuckled at my expression. “Don’t be alarmed. It’s one long for ‘yes,’ two short for ‘no.’”

“Uh…” I flailed desperately for some way to redirect the conversation back toward sanity. “How’d you know about her?”

“We keep track of who all our subjects leave with. CCTV cameras in the ceiling, and I review the tapes personally. Won’t you have a seat?”

I sat. What else could I do?

Comments

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Classical Gas
Blusparrow
Posted about 1 month ago

Passed gas… I actually laughed at that!
LoA
Classical Gas
wytherwings
Posted about 1 month ago

haha me too!
Classical Gas
Ridcully Calvert
Posted about 1 month ago

LOL , definitely me three

LoA
Classical Gas
Nissakit
Posted about 1 month ago

me 4 lol
Classical Gas
Trying to Blend
Posted about 1 month ago

...”one long for yes, two for no”....
Hahahahahahahah!!
Classical Gas
flute faerie
Posted about 1 month ago

Me 5! That was hilarious!
Classical Gas
Flute Loop<33
Posted about 1 month ago

me 6! I want to know how you come up with all of this stuff!
Classical Gas
Dr. Mousse
Posted about 1 month ago

Haha. I laugh at how they came up with a system to communicate: “One for yes, two for no.” Ha.
LoA
P.S. Me 7!
Classical Gas
Alexa ♥
Posted about 1 month ago

Yeah, very odd.
LoA