Ficlets

One Less Twit!

“Taunted by toof faeries! Hah! Don’t you know that me mum’s uncle’s second wife is half faerie n’ half orc. Me n’ the toof faeries used to play in the dungeons when we was little uns.”

“I don’t believe you, the tooth faeries drive our prisoners mad when they are kept in the dungeons for more than a few days.”

“Whatever, mate. You got a match?”

“A match? What are you going on about?”

“Well you did say I should be shooting flamin’ arrers, tho’ I think the dragon would like bits of coal more, so I need a match to light the bleedin’ arrers, don’t I”

“Oh, right. I know I had some earlier. Where did I put them? Well, that’s a bit of problem, I can’t seem to find them. Just shoot your regular arrows at the dragon”

“You know that dragon scales are better than plate armour, don’t ya? Ordinary arrows just bounce off.”

“Well try it anyway, you ignorant country lout. Are you … aaaargh!”

“Hey, Fred, how ya doin, mate?”

“Not bad, thanks for distracting the twit for me”

“No problem, see ya next week at Granny’s”

Comments

Average Reader Rating:

One Less Twit!
THX 0477
Posted 6 months ago

Horrible twist on the story, but does give a possible explanation for the guy being such a pill about everything.
LoA
One Less Twit!
Storykeeper of Fae
Posted 6 months ago

This succeeded in making me smile. Yay for sillyness!
LoA
One Less Twit!
Robotech_Master
Posted 6 months ago

Technically, it should be one fewer twit. “Less” is used for things you measure, like “you need less flour in those pancakes.” “Fewer” is used for things you can count, like “fewer people” or “fewer oranges.”

This has been your grammar lesson for the day. :)
One Less Twit!
B. Somerville
Posted 6 months ago

I agree on the correctness of “one fewer twit” but as I was using vernacular speech in the ficlet, using “one less twit” seemed to fit better.
One Less Twit!
Nissakit
Posted 6 months ago

Its good!!
One Less Twit!
SKermitgorf
Posted 6 months ago

very funny in keeping with yoda’s ficlet, seemless. awesome dialogue. Robo must be an english prof. sheesh… sometimes too much emphasis on grammer ruins a story.
LoA
One Less Twit!
YodaOnCrack
Posted 6 months ago

Nicely done! ..& where did you find this one – buried in the archives – thanks for the sequel… I love it when my stuff gets sequeled. Quality work!
One Less Twit!
flute faerie
Posted 6 months ago

Good sequel!