Another failure, Bumpit challenge

by B. Somerville

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“What do you mean, you ‘Harvest’ my Dreams?” The beeping began to increase in frequency again. “Who are you people? Where am I? I do so exist!” came in a quickly louder and more frantic tone matched by the beeps of the heart monitor morphing into a single sustained tone.

“You see, I told you that this one was too fragile. Well, see if you can bring it around again.”

“OK, so you were correct, yet once again. You don’t have to emphasise it to such a great extent.”

“Where am I? Who are you people?”

“Um, how shall I phrase it?” The male paused and his face lost any appearance of life momentarily before it re-energised, “Ah yes, we are researchers into the thought processes of Homo Sapiens.”

“What?” she cried to a background of beeps sounding more closely together.

“The elimination of Emotions seems to have some, shall I say, undesirable side effects and we have found that your more primitive species may, and I must emphasise may, be capable of providing answers.”

“See, I told you it was too fragile.”

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Another failure, Bumpit challenge

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Yikes. Bizarre idea and well done with the balance between their clinical indifference and her fear/panic/questions.
    LoA

  2. Another failure, Bumpit challenge

    Storykeeper of Fae's Buddy Icon Storykeeper of Fae

    Posted 6 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    This was quite good, I thought. The only thing – it’s a little confusing who’s talking. I got it, but not the first time ‘round. Maybe I’m just slow. :D. I liked your use of the word “morphing” to describe sound. Morph, shape…applied to sound. Nice.
    LoA

  3. Another failure, Bumpit challenge

    B. Somerville's Buddy Icon B. Somerville

    Posted 6 months ago

    Thanx people, I appreciate the positive comments.

    Storykeeper, I have to agree with you about confusion of voice. Something I need to work on within the strictures of the ficlet form.

    Now go ahead and trash some of other stories, ... in a positive way of course. 8>)

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