“You broke every one of my ‘Heroes of the Epsilon Quadrant’ limited edition collector’s plate series?” shrieked Marcia. “Do you know when the New Bradford Exchange will be issuing another one? No? I’ll tell you: 2 years from now. Do you know when they’ll reissue this series? Never!“

“But… I… truth…” was all Larry could stammer. Just once in his life, he thought, he would like honesty to actually turn out to be the best policy.

“Get out!” Marcia screamed, throwing various objects at Larry. “Just get out! I can’t believe your great-grandfather founded the CleanGene empire! You completely, unquestionably, mind-bendingly suck at cleaning! Everything you touch is a disaster! Get out of here now!”

She quickly pushed Larry through the apartment’s entrance and slammed the door.

As Larry walked down the street, an Academy recruiting office caught his eye. It hit him as if he were standing with an open mouth behind an incontinent elephant. The solution to all his problems: Join the academy.