Ficlets

Doomed Montague

<snick>

Hmm, it appears I’ve been outflanked by a lifetoid. By the sounds of it, some sort of handheld weaponry is currently engaged and my un-life prospects are quickly diminishing.

How should I play this surprising development? Coy? Anger? Perhaps I should find some common ground and work my way in from there.

Time to turn and face my adversary.

Waaaaaaait,” I groaned. “I waaas once exaactly laaaik uuuuuuuu.”

His weapon carefully acquiesces to gravity’s demands and he encourages me to continue. Silly fly, my silken thread is poised to draw you in.

“Hhuuurrgh.” Damn, that didn’t come out right. Let’s try again, and this time I’ll add some theater.

“Hhuuummmaaaanniittyyy,” I say, as my empathetic expression and upturned hands finalize the delivery. Fit for broadway, if I don’t say so myself.

The lifetoid turns and calls out to it’s mate, “Bella, come out here! Careful! You’re not going to believe this!”

Oh poor, doomed Montague. You know not what lies ahead…

Comments

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Doomed Montague
THX 0477
Posted 6 months ago

Now that’s novel. Don’t think I’ve ever seen (and I think I got this right) a story from the perspective of the zombie. I love the self-congratulation bit about Broadway. Great stuff.
LoA
Doomed Montague
Crown Me Tarzan, King of Mars
Posted 6 months ago

Can Kelsey Grammer play the zombie in the movie version? This is great, but if you read it as Sideshow Bob, it’s even funnier.
Doomed Montague
SKermitgorf
Posted 6 months ago

Awesome.. love the tale told from the smart zombies perspective. and the lifetoid.. great word.
LoA
Doomed Montague
Ridcully Calvert
Posted 6 months ago

Loved it, and looking forward to writing another sequel. What fun!

LoA
Doomed Montague
BARomero
Posted 6 months ago

This looks like the start of a good tennis match (back and forth between two Ficleteers) between atllta and Ridcully Calvert!
Doomed Montague
OrangeOreos
Posted 6 months ago

I loved the last line!

Was it supposed to be an allusion to Romeo and Juliet?
Doomed Montague
Ridcully Calvert
Posted 6 months ago

I am busy with a sequel for this, and from some dark place the following opening paragraph bubbled up:

Bella comes walking out hesitantly, her hairy feet brushing fragments of mortar left over from previous engagements in the corridor. She moves quite daintily for a 7-foot mountain gorilla.

I have junked it, but thought that you guys might appreciate the insight into my creative process ;-)
Doomed Montague
thebetweenspace
Posted 6 months ago

I love it! This series is so much fun.
Doomed Montague
atllta
Posted 6 months ago

@OrangeOreos – you got it, a straight-shooting Romeo/Juliet reference. Remember, this zombie is intelligent (and somewhat of a romantic)!