Tears and a Monster (Elsha's Mirror Challenge)

by Blusparrow

I look at myself in the mirror. I look horrible with tears rolling down my face. This doesn’t even look like me. This is not who I wanted to become. I just wanted you. I changed myself so I could have you. I changed my look. Wearing clothes I would never ever think to put on. Belly button showing shirts and short shirts. Changing myself into a gum smacking slut because I saw that is what you wanted. I drank because you said you like a girl that drinks. I got a belly button perusing because you said that would be more appealing. I made my hair shorter and cut in my own bangs because you said you like pulling back bangs to kiss a girl. I changed everything about myself to get you. Now all I got is tears.Tears and someone that I have become that is a monster.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5

  1. Tears and a Monster (Elsha's Mirror Challenge)

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 5 months ago

    A story of change for the worse! A reflection of remorse. Nice job!
    LoA

  2. Tears and a Monster (Elsha's Mirror Challenge)

    Freedom's Buddy Icon Freedom

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Whoa, that’s intense but very well written. Love it.
    LoA

  3. Tears and a Monster (Elsha's Mirror Challenge)

    Apostrophe 's Buddy Icon Apostrophe

    Posted 5 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    amazing what one will do for the affections of another. Powerfully writen story. Full of Emotion.

  4. Tears and a Monster (Elsha's Mirror Challenge)

    Mycroft's Buddy Icon Mycroft

    Posted 5 months ago

    Great feeling in this, one big rush of emotion. Good use of the layout, too – sticking everything in one big block speeds the story up and makes it almost overwhelming.

  5. Tears and a Monster (Elsha's Mirror Challenge)

    flute faerie's Buddy Icon flute faerie

    Posted 5 months ago

    wow, that’s a really good story. I like how it’s all one paragraph, it really works for this story.

  6. Tears and a Monster (Elsha's Mirror Challenge)

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 5 months ago

    Very good job conveying the emotion, both the desire to fit the mold and the disgust at having achieved it. The last line felt a little awkward but not sure how to rearrange it.
    LoA

  7. Tears and a Monster (Elsha's Mirror Challenge)

    User 8538's Buddy Icon User 8538

    Posted 5 months ago

    powerful emotion.

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