Save The Troops.

by MissJonas1492

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She paces around the room anxiously as she waits for him to come home. He’s been gone for months, and she can stand the wait no longer. She throws out her hand and knocks over a chair. She stares at it for a moment, then reaches down to fix it. She lets out a slight sob and covers her face with her hands. As the tears roll down her cheeks, a thought unwillingly forms in her mind: This war is tearing families apart and ripping people’s lives to shreds.How many other women have had mental breakdowns like this? How many husbands, brothers, uncles, fathers, grandfathers, or cousins have offered their lives for our country only to lose their lives in a war that doesn’t need to be fought? Why are so many people being forced to go through this misery?

Save The Troops.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 3.5 stars out of 5

  1. Save The Troops.

    Howie Amourscow's Buddy Icon Howie Amourscow

    Posted about 1 year ago

    3.0 out of 5 stars

    Eloquent, but never use a hammer where a gentle tap suffices. There is an old axiom in writing about showing instead of simply telling. Your first five sentences convey the feelings a war bride might have, but the rest of the piece betrays a lack of faith in yourself and your audience. Yourself, because you didn’t have faith that you were making your point. Your audience, because you didn’t trust us to empathize with your subject. Write with confidence, and show us (instead of telling us). Good luck!

  2. Save The Troops.

    SJHundak/S.J.Willing's Buddy Icon SJHundak/S.J.Willing

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    Nice, I was thinking though you could get more life in it from a first person pov. You have some really nice emotion and imagery but just feels like it’s taking too long to come out because of the perspective.

    S.J.

  3. Save The Troops.

    Sailor Emo's Buddy Icon Sailor Emo

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    I love this one and it has a great story basis=).

  4. Save The Troops.

    Sailor Emo's Buddy Icon Sailor Emo

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    hey, wait a minuet! Women fight in wars too!!

  5. Save The Troops.

    Sailor Emo's Buddy Icon Sailor Emo

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    (aunts, nieces,mothers ,grand mothers, sisters…..)

  6. Save The Troops.

    Sailor Emo's Buddy Icon Sailor Emo

    Posted about 1 year ago

    4.0 out of 5 stars

    still a great story though

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