Ficlets

Me: Blank [defensive challenge]

I stare at my feet, as though my Converse high-tops are currently the most exciting thing in the world, twirling a strand of hair around my finger. The stitching on my shoes is red. I just noticed that. And the shoelaces are kind of frayed on the ends; the tape I put on is dirty.

Sara: Eva, why won’t you talk? Why won’t you say anything? What happened?

Me:

I’d like to tell her. I really would. But I have to keep my mouth shut. Lock it and throw out the key. I’m standing on a crack in the sidewalk. I think that’s bad luck. I should move, but I can’t lift my feet. It’s as though they’re stuck, superglue prison. Like those dreams where you want to run, but you can’t.

Sara: Eva? What’s…wrong with you?

Me:

There’s a little ant wandering around between my feet. Most people would kill it, but I won’t. It’s kind of cute, actually.

Sara: Please, talk?

Me:

And say what? I kick at the ground, and wonder what happened to the old Eva. The non-broken one.
I wonder what I would’ve said, if it had never happened.

Comments

Average Reader Rating:

Me: Blank [defensive challenge]
Blusparrow
Posted 3 months ago

that was great Someday. If I was ever in that situation, I wonder what I would say too. I am not saying I want too, I would hate beyond words to not be able to find the words to talk. I mean I comment like crazy, but to loose my voice because of something that happened to me would be very hard.
LoA
Me: Blank [defensive challenge]
wytherwings
Posted 3 months ago

oh wow, thats awesome. great detail, i love the part about the ant.
and great defense, it really fits the challenge, i think
really creative
=]=]
Me: Blank [defensive challenge]
THX 0477
Posted 3 months ago

Very painful take on the challenge and well done. At first I didn’t like the script style dialog presentation, but it worked extremely well to make the point that you say nothing and really emphasise that fact.
LoA
Me: Blank [defensive challenge]
Music-Hearted
Posted 3 months ago

I love the inner monologue of the main character. Observant and in pain; great work.
LoA
Me: Blank [defensive challenge]
Apostrophe
Posted 3 months ago

someday- you have a knack for illustrating human emotions. You have a gift of presenting them to the world. You convey such conviction and such expression in your writing. I like how you worked the dialouge between the two characters.. You really know how to connect with your readers. You draw them in and you enchant them with your magical descriptions. Also, you communicate such raw emotion. It’s not often found in this type of writing.
Me: Blank [defensive challenge]
Apostrophe
Posted 3 months ago

the inner monolouge sort of reminded me of that old tv show, my so-called-life. Claire Danes’s character would narriate the story in a similar style.
Me: Blank [defensive challenge]
THX 0477
Posted 2 months ago

This entry is a winner!