The Toast That Wasn't

by Russell Ruffino

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As I watched him make the toast I wondered what I was doing here. I needed to just accept I didn’t like anything about the guy, well, except his sense of humour.

That’s not enough reason to be friends with someone though, not someone with this many shortcomings. His personality had more flaws than a forgery of a Rembrandt drawn by a drunk 6 year old with no thumbs.

He passed me the cup of tea, ok, that was another plus, he made really good tea. Still, you can’t just hang around with someone who makes you tea and makes you laugh. I’d settle for worse tea made by someone who wasn’t so petty and spiteful, someone who didn’t hold grudges better than most elephants.

He put the toast down in front of me, it looked good. I picked up the nearest slice and bit into it, eugh, it’s cold. That’s disgusting. I look up at him, he hasn’t taken his eyes off me, he knows it’s cold. He knows it’s cold! And he knows I’m too polite to complain, so I’ll eat both slices.

Why do I hang round with this guy?

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. The Toast That Wasn't

    Laine P. Grey's Buddy Icon Laine P. Grey

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I really really enjoyed that. Throughly brilliant.

  2. The Toast That Wasn't

    Laine P. Grey's Buddy Icon Laine P. Grey

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Sorry, thoroughly.

  3. The Toast That Wasn't

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Third line up from the bottom, I think you meant to write “his eyes off me.” I love the undercurrent of humor in this piece, the despair mixed with resignment that forces the narrator to reach for not one but two pieces of cold toast, just to be polite.
    LoA

  4. The Toast That Wasn't

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    By the by, I just read your “bio” and I think it’s hilarious. Its succintness makes mine seem superfluous by comparison.

  5. The Toast That Wasn't

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Er, I meant succinctness. I always forget that damn third “c.” :D

  6. The Toast That Wasn't

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    A drunk 6 year old with no thumbs? Odd image. I really like the complexity of this story, as Ana Cristina said so eloquently ‘the despair mixed with resentment’ that seals the narrator’s fate.

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