Getting There [OTOC's Diary Challenge]

by Music-Hearted

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Dear Diary,

It’s getting better.

I just have this voice in my head now. That makes me sound a little insane, but I mean it. Whenever I have those thoughts, the bad ones, it goes You owe it to yourself! You owe it to your friends! You owe it to your family! An inner- guilt alarm-clock that chimes whenever it thinks I’m a danger to myself.

I’m still on the journey. I’m not there quite yet, but happiness- or maybe just peace with myself- is there in my future. It’s so vivid that I swear on my good days, I can taste it, feel it. But I can’t yet see it clearly. It’s there, waiting for me. Waiting for me to get better.

And while I’m not happy with where I’ve been emotionally, mentally; I know that everything I’ve experienced makes me who I am. Someday, in that beautiful, faraway future, I’ll look back and be glad. Glad that I was so sad for so long, so I could finally appreciate happiness when I got it.

Happy. I’m getting there.

Truly,
Me.

Prequels

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Comments

  1. Getting There [OTOC's Diary Challenge]

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 2 months ago

    Very hopeful, almost soothing in its bittersweetness.
    I know I’ve felt this way, small, determined, having just had a cry after a revelation about myself. Ready to move on in small steps.
    It’s like that last shuddering breath you take at the end of a long cry and f\right before you say, “I’m okay.”
    LoA

  2. Getting There [OTOC's Diary Challenge]

    Stovohobo's Buddy Icon Stovohobo

    Posted 2 months ago

    Nice feeling of hope and determination in this one. I like this entry.

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