Maybe I Shouldn't Have Done That

by uselessness

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This is just to say that I don’t really have allergies.

I mean, I do… but just food allergies. I can’t eat leafy green vegetables like celery or spinach or most kinds of cabbage if it hasn’t been steamed. But dust mites? That was a lie.

So that one time when we were hiding in the basement of that munitions factory in The Hague, and we were crawling on our hands and knees behind boxes of Grendel rounds and the Russian mafia was turning over tables looking for us, and just when we thought we were home free, I sneezed? Yeah. That was on purpose.

Remember how they pistolwhipped you and you thought they pistolwhipped me too? They didn’t. They gave me a briefcase full of money and I moved to the Bahamas. Sorry.

The good life kind of sucks. Every day I spend alone, baby, I miss you a little more. I don’t know if they took you to the cell in Nizhny Novgorod or the one in Moscow (I helped build that one), but I’m doing everything I can to get you out. I hope they haven’t tortured you too much.

Love,
Your husband

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Maybe I Shouldn't Have Done That

    Valley Fey/Pinprick's Buddy Icon Valley Fey/Pinprick

    Posted 3 months ago

    Wow, so mean… But I love it. Great job.
    LoA

  2. Maybe I Shouldn't Have Done That

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I laughed myself silly reading this. Awesome entry.
    LoA

  3. Maybe I Shouldn't Have Done That

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 3 months ago

    ouch! dude, she prolly hates his guts! congrats a comedic spin!

  4. Maybe I Shouldn't Have Done That

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Oh, my gosh. The epitome of hilarious! I love that you brought comedy into this challenge.

  5. Maybe I Shouldn't Have Done That

    One Time, One Chance's Buddy Icon One Time, One Chance

    Posted 3 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    hahahaha! gaud, talk about taking divorce to the next level.
    =]

  6. Maybe I Shouldn't Have Done That

    Misheru O'ku's Buddy Icon Misheru O'ku

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    ouch! sucks for her!

  7. Maybe I Shouldn't Have Done That

    Hunting Beauty's Buddy Icon Hunting Beauty

    Posted about 1 month ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    omgosh! hahahahaha! That is some funny stuff. Good job. Sucks for his wife though. I’d hate to see what she’ll do to him when she finds out. LoA

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