Ficlets

Mmmmmm...

I looked at it carefully, suspiciously even. I’ve never tried this before. I’m unsure what my reaction will be. Will I like it? Will it disgust me? Will it be worth the price I paid?

Warily, I open my mouth. My eyes close and I begin to pass judgment on the first taste.

I’ve never felt such smoothness on my tongue. I immediately swirl it around and breathe deep. It slides and glides over my taste buds like a sensuous lover. As I slowly savour, the rich flavour infiltrates every crevice, every hidden corner of my mouth before slipping down my throat. It leaves a satisfying coolness behind like an echo. I shiver and offer up a slight smile and a satisfied, “Mmmmmm” to no one in particular, before taking more.

Another bite. Another burst of near-ecstasy. Another shiver.

I want more. I need more. So smooth. So rich.

But all too soon the little cup is empty and I’m resigned to licking the little foil top, wishing to lap up every molecule of that delicious chocolate pudding.

Comments

Average Reader Rating:

Mmmmmm...
Melia
Posted 3 months ago

Well this ficlet came out a whole lot different than I had intended when I started it. For the record, I wanted to try my hand at describing something in as much detail as possible and then see if you guys could guess what I was describing.

I had pudding with my lunch today so I went with that. But the ficlet went in a weird direction and I couldn’t resist the payoff at the end :) Anyway. Just a bit of silliness.
Mmmmmm...
Valley Fey/Pinprick
Posted 3 months ago

Wow, that was AWESOME . I was like “hookah? ice cream? air?”

You’re amazing with the details, Melia!
LoA
Mmmmmm...
Melia
Posted 3 months ago

Hehe. Hookah. :)
I debated the mature tag too, so if anyone’s offended, I’ll put it on there. I wasn’t sure.
Mmmmmm...
THX 0477
Posted 3 months ago

No, I thought the sensual lover line was funny and not over the line or anything. Great description, though I was thinking Ben and Jerry’s ice cream as the culprit.
LoA
Mmmmmm...
Melia
Posted 3 months ago

A logical assumption THX . I, however, am not much of an ice cream fan, but you couldn’t know that so yeah, good guess :)
Mmmmmm...
Ana Cristina
Posted 3 months ago

Ha, that payoff in the last sentence is great. I wish I hadn’t read the comments though so I could have really been surprised.
LoA
Mmmmmm...
Tad Winslow
Posted 2 months ago

Ha ha ha ha. I hope you didn’t lick the foil top in public or get caught by your co-workers for real, but I like that ending. Fantastic description. I can see how this could be taken offensively if you continued with the sensual theme, but you did a fine job of holding back on the reigns, its perfect.
Mmmmmm...
Melia
Posted 2 months ago

No I was at home by myself. Eatin’ pudding. And lickin’ the lid. And it was gooooood.
Mmmmmm...
Melia
Posted 2 months ago

No I was at home by myself. Eatin’ pudding. And lickin’ the lid. And it was gooooood. :)
Actually, it was a flavour I’ve never had before which is why I was reluctant to try it. I fear the unknown.
Mmmmmm...
YodaOnCrack
Posted 2 months ago

I love it – awesome. Congrats!
Mmmmmm...
BARomero
Posted 2 months ago

Haha! I had thought ice cream all the way, and then when you mentioned that you were considering mature tagging, I read it again. Brilliant (and totally hot)! Makes me think of this sneezing video (which also might not be suitable for minors)
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E61_oa3kb2o
.
Describing an object or event in detail without saying what it is, and then letting your readers guess it, might be a good idea for a challenge.
Mmmmmm...
Tad Winslow
Posted 2 months ago

ooooooo, I absolutely agree w/ that challenge idea BARomero (Hint Hint).
Mmmmmm...
Melia
Posted 2 months ago

Go for it with sequels, I say :)
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wytherwings
Posted 2 months ago

i love it! I think it was some kind of beverage at first, like coffee. and i like the challenge idea too
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writer4life00nj
Posted 2 months ago

chocolate pudding
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One Time, One Chance
Posted 2 months ago

hahahahha.
brilliant descriptions and such
=]
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thebetweenspace
Posted 2 months ago

You had me duped. Having read your other stories, my mind wasn’t thinking of ordinary foods. Great payoff!
Mmmmmm...
Saint Chuck
Posted 2 months ago

Ok well I admit I cheated and read the last line first…but great story, I love the descriptions. If I hadn’t cheated I really would have been rather confused.
LoA
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SKermitgorf
Posted 2 months ago

i love pudding and licking the top cover, you captured a soothing moment of eating pleasure.
LoA
Mmmmmm...
NightMaiden
Posted 2 months ago

Now you’re making me race to the kitchen for some fondue and strawberries. This ficlet just made me…hungry! Lovely job.