Edmund Extracts the High School Students

by thebetweenspace

Edmund the Extractor received a text message: plz help: hostage in La Vega High School gym: have $.

His attention wasn’t piqued until his eyes located his favorite little symbol.

Edmund walked into La Vega High School and growled at the secretary, “I need to know where the gym is and I need to know now!”

“And who are you exactly?” she asked.

“My identity is not the issue! There are students being held against their will! And those students are in the gymnasium!”

The secretary panicked, “Oh, my God! I’ll dial 911!”

“That won’t be necessary, I’ll be in and out. Where is the gym!?”

“Two lefts and a right! Can’t miss it!”

He walked into the gym wielding his medicine ball launcher.

“What in God’s green earth are you doing here, maggot!?” the gym teacher growled.

“My job,” Edmund responded, launching a red medicine ball at him. He was knocked into the bleachers, unconscious.

“Thank God you got here when you did,” Mark said. “He was about to make us run laps.”

Edmund smiled. Another job well done.

Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Edmund Extracts the High School Students

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 7 months ago

    Hilarious spoof of the action/mercenary genre. Screw justifiable; is it profitable?

  2. Edmund Extracts the High School Students

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I love the mock-seriousness of this. I confess to wishing similar fates for previous gym coaches.
    LoA

  3. Edmund Extracts the High School Students

    Misheru O'ku's Buddy Icon Misheru O'ku

    Posted 7 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    lol, i enjoyed reading this a lot. I could envision this becoming an Edmund comic strip series in the Sunday comics section.

  4. Edmund Extracts the High School Students

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 7 months ago

    Funny you say that, Misheru, that’s exactly what I had in mind when I started the series. Now, if only I could draw…

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