I've Never Done This

by Phil Sporlan

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Ernest smiles, not sure of his next move.
“Well, I should be going. Where do you want to go?”

Elisabeth smiles
“You asked me out. You decide, after work tonight would be OK, pick me up.”

Ernest’s heart can be heard through his chest. His mind raises. He has reached untouched soil, he’s as smooth as sandpaper.

The manager yells from the back. “You don’t work today!”

“I’ll take your phone number and I’ll have something special planned for us tonight.”

Elisabeth seems delighted.
“I can’t wait.”

OH! A three pointer at the buzzer, the underdog team has won! The gods have given him the power to speak words that actually sound normal! Amazing, Ernest coudn’t be happier. Nothing could ruin this moment.

Manager runs from the back looks at Ernest, then outside through the huge windows in the front of the store.
“Ernest! Your car is on fire!

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. I've Never Done This

    wytherwings' Buddy Icon wytherwings

    Posted 4 months ago

    oh… thats not good
    but yay!! he’s going on a date!!
    and, thanks for the note!
    great job, keep writing!

  2. I've Never Done This

    THX 0477's Buddy Icon THX 0477

    Posted 4 months ago

    Way to kill the mood for the poor guy. I love the very human struggling through the whole asking out procedure.

  3. I've Never Done This

    invisibility_disability's Buddy Icon invisibility_disability

    Posted 4 months ago

    i am oh so very confused. i thought his name was michael!??!

  4. I've Never Done This

    SKermitgorf's Buddy Icon SKermitgorf

    Posted 4 months ago

    The gods have given him the power to speak words that actually sound normal< lov this line.

  5. I've Never Done This

    penguincaptain18's Buddy Icon penguincaptain18

    Posted 3 months ago

    I like the line “he’s as smooth as sandpaper”. Poor guy, finally gets to talk to the girl and she says yes and his car randomly catches on fire.

  6. I've Never Done This

    penguincaptain18's Buddy Icon penguincaptain18

    Posted 3 months ago

    I like the line “he’s as smooth as sandpaper”. Poor guy, finally gets to talk to the girl and she says yes and his car randomly catches on fire.

  7. I've Never Done This

    Nissakit's Buddy Icon Nissakit

    Posted 3 months ago

    that was funny, but am still confused what is his name: ernest, michael or UGG ??? can someone help me out here?

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