Awakening (Déjà Vu Challenge)

by falconesse

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The dream goes like this: I wake up on the far side of midnight. It’s summer, heading towards fall, and the night is dead quiet. No cars passing by, no crickets chirping, nothing.

I get out of bed and realize I’m alone. The silence has me spooked, so I go outside and I know – just know – the houses on my street are all empty.

Maybe there’s no one left in the world.

There’s an old white church around the corner, built in colonial times. I’ve never been inside, but it seems like the place to go in case of Apocalypse. I try walking there calmly.

In the end, I run.

The streetlights glow yellowish-amber, painting the front of the church a sickly, jaundiced hue. The bells in the tower begin ringing, more cacophony than hymn.

I go in and I am on a ledge, looking down. There are no pews, no altar. Instead, it’s a cave, a gaping wound in the world. The door behind me is gone. A hand falls on my shoulder.

Now, here I am, awake on the far side of midnight, and the world is dead silent.

Except for the bells.

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Comments

Average Reader Rating: 5.0 stars out of 5

  1. Awakening (Déjà Vu Challenge)

    thebetweenspace's Buddy Icon thebetweenspace

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    A very ominous and foreboding entry into the challenge.

  2. Awakening (Déjà Vu Challenge)

    Ana Cristina's Buddy Icon Ana Cristina

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    I like the imagery and the sparse narration – it really adds to the heightening sense of fear in the passage. Great use of repetition in the last section to add the feeling of déjà vu.
    LoA

  3. Awakening (Déjà Vu Challenge)

    Mistress Elsha Hawk's Buddy Icon Mistress Elsha Hawk

    Posted 2 months ago

    Ditto, really, I can’t say it any better than they did!

  4. Awakening (Déjà Vu Challenge)

    NightMaiden's Buddy Icon NightMaiden

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Wow—I got the chills reading that. I like the effect of the bells. Thank you so much for entering!

  5. Awakening (Déjà Vu Challenge)

    Stovohobo's Buddy Icon Stovohobo

    Posted 2 months ago

    5.0 out of 5 stars

    Really, really effective description and mood. I was wondering when the déjà vu would come in, and it came in with a chill. Very cool.

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